Never Forgotten
by LokidAsgardian
Summary: With Loki still imprisoned in the Stark Tower, Tony Stark is trading with the Devil for some unruly things.
1. Chapter 1

It had been raining all week. Not just any rain, but that torrential downpour during hurricane season. The lights in the building would flicker occasionally, so with the power being out randomly there was no point in trying to cook or watch television.

Tony sat in front of the cell wondering what the god was dreaming about. Did gods even dream or did they just…well, he didn't know what. He sat there pondering about it until the prisoner turned on his side and looked over sleepily at Tony. He turned back facing the other direction and said, "What brings you here, Tony Stark?"

Tony really didn't know why he had come down to the cellar; he had no questions to ask, nothing to say, he just wanted to watch him sleep. "What does it matter?" he replied crossing his legs in the chair.

"You fascinate me," the prisoner admitted still keeping his back turned to Tony.

"And why would that be, Loki?"

With this question Loki turned only so slightly to have his eye peer over his shoulder, "Because you have no heart." Before Tony could fire back he said, "Yet you try to prove that you do with being the Iron Man."

"I'm trying to save people, not kill them." Tony spat getting angry.

Loki laughed and set his head back down away from Tony's sight, "Just keep telling yourself that."

"What makes you think that I have no heart? I drove a nuke up to that damned alien spaceship thing. I sacrificed myself for that,"

"Oh," Loki sang a little muffled, "Are you sure you didn't do that to…prove anything to anyone?"

"Who would I have to prove anything to?"

"Yourself? To the other Avengers? To…Earth?"

Tony could see Loki's reflection in the glass staring at him as he said this, "I did it because I care,"

Loki laughed. He _laughed_ and it pissed Tony off. "If you're angry why don't you leave? I like resting alone."

Tony clutched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "You're right." And he stood ready to walk about, but turned to say something else. Loki was now sitting up watching him. Eyeing him. Observing him. He stood slowly and walked up to the wall of glass and pressed his hands on it. "I can help you, you know," he didn't smile, his eyes didn't lie, he was being serious.

Feeling a sudden surge of…emotion, as Tony would call it, he burst out a fake laugh. "Help me with what? Getting caught in a steel trap? Thanks, but no thanks," and he walked from the room. Upon leaving the cellar his smile immediately dissipated and he shoved his hands into his pockets feeling rather unnerved. He began to his room and passed Steve in doing so.

"You alright, Stark?" he asked putting a soft hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Peachy." He snarled shoving Steve's hand off and retired to his room.

Loki still stood there and looked back down where Tony had previously been sitting. He removed his hands and began back over to his bench. He lay down once more and closed his eyes listening to his surroundings.

It wasn't until an hour later that Loki was jarred awake yet again by someone walking to the chair. He looked at the reflection in the glass and smiled. "What now?"

But Tony didn't sit in the chair; he went over to the command center for the cage and pressed a button. The door to the trap opened and Tony walked up to it and stood at the entrance with arms crossed. "Tell me…" his voice was harsh and raspy. Had he been crying? "Tell me this, Loki: what could you possible help me with? You were banished from your own world, your powers stripped from you by your step-dad, and now you're under constant supervision by some kickass super heros like you're on a special of Super Nanny."

"Well, I don't know what 'Super Nanny' is, but I can assure you, Tony Stark, that things…always end up going my way." You could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Get up and face me!" Tony yelled and Loki slowly did as told. But, he didn't look fearful. He looked…smug. "Wipe that smirk off your goddamned face."

"Cursing, in Asgard, is a form of uncivilized conversation. I do not take it as a threat, but as a pressing confirmation that you're a mere human."

"No shit, Sherlock," Tony snapped, "Steve, your brother, and Banner are the only ones who have any real strength. Is that what you're getting at, pretty boy?"

"Oooh," Loki smiled wide, "So you do admit to your weakness. My dear enemy, I have one last gift for Earth before I return to Asgard to await my punishment."

"Who gives a shit what your gift-"

"That gift is for you, Tony Stark." Loki's smile grew as Tony's gaze went from offended to interested. "I do not ask for you to release me or anything of the sort. It's for you to _really _prove yourself to your friends and world. I have watched you for quite some time and you and I aren't so different."

"How's that?"

"See," Loki began standing again, "We both desire acceptance, but fear commitment. We love attention, but hate it at the same time. We crave blood, just different types. We both have these things in common, you see, and I see a great deal more of me in you. Never accepted by your family, always rising to try and prove yourself to be worth? Why not take my gift, just as that, and take into consideration what there really is for people like us."

Tony hesitated, "What's the gift?"

"All my powers."

All of the Avengers sat around the table in the mess hall and ate. Clint, Natasha, and Bruce were all in a heated argument about something to do with Star Trek, Steve and Thor were having an eating contest, and Tony was sitting quietly munching on his sandwich taking a hard look at the meat inside of it.

"I WIN!" Thor boomed slamming his fists down on the table with a mouth full of food.

"Dammit!" Steve swore swallowing hard with only a bite left of his meal. "One day I'll defeat you." He stated.

"One day far off in the long future." Thor boasted throwing back his water.

"Eh, I think it's closer than you give me credit for," Steve smirked eating the last bite remaining.

"I am very doubtful of that," Thor wiped his mouth clean with his sleeve and sat back full.

"You're quiet," Steve announced looking at Stark.

"Just thinking," he told him not taking his eyes off of his food.

"About what happened earlier…"

"Was nothing. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so rude," Tony said still not looking up.

Steve chewed his last bite slowly watching his friend cautiously.

"I'm fine, really," Tony said shoving his sandwich down and got up to exit the room. The other end of the table went quiet as he left.

The power in the building flickered off and the whole group moaned. All except Tony, he had a personal flashlight.

With the arc reactor leading the way, he found his way to Loki's cell for the third time that day. With or without light, Tony could make out the stalking figure of the prisoner, sitting on his bench. "I'll accept your gift."

"Before I hand over my powers, I want you to answer one question for me."

"Shoot."

"Why?"

"Because you were right. About everything."

"Enlighten me."

Tony began to walk from the room.

"Wait!" Loki exclaimed. "Wait," And Tony did. "Humans are so impatient."

"It's a great trait."

"On the contrary. But if you agree with what I've said, then you shall receive your gift. But…I do have one condition," his grin turned into a snarl.

Tony was silent.

"You have to be under some of my control."

"Some?"

"Not all, you will still have your free will…if I let you."

Stark couldn't turn back now, he was already knee deep in commitment. "You have to swear that I won't hurt my friends."

"Swear to what? Is this a child's game?"

"You have to keep your word that you won't _touch_ my friends. The Avengers. The people that kicked your-"

"Understood. Then if that's your only wish?"

"Then I guess we've got a contract."


	2. Chapter 2

Tony had gone to bed rather early. He was exhausted, worn out and ready for tomorrow. Hopefully the storms will have passed; but all of this exhaustion wasn't from playing with his phone and talking a little, no, he could feel something in him. Loki hadn't done anything, he hadn't touched him, but as soon as they agreed on their terms Tony's chest fell heavy, achy, and pained with something he couldn't identify. Maybe that was Loki's control, maybe it was part of Loki's actual heart, either way Tony didn't know.

There was a knock on his door and he looked at the bright clock next to his bed, "2:37AM" it read in bright, red neon. He scrunched his eyes, made sure he was wearing clothes, and went to the door. He cracked it open and found Steve standing outside of his door with his pajamas on. "What is it?" Tony asked.

"I can't sleep." Steve said simply.

"Oh, mmm," Tony mumbled inaudibly tired. He opened his door and let his friend inside. "What…what's wrong?" he asked still half asleep.

Steve went and sat himself down at the foot of Tony's bed and fiddled with his fingers. "I've been thinking…" he said quietly.

"Speak up, can't hear you," Tony said standing across from his friend.

"Do you ever feel like you're being watched?" he looked up staring Stark in the eyes, "Do you ever feel like someone is constantly monitoring every move you make?"

"Well, Loki's here," Tony pointed out.

"I thought about that too, but he was stripped of his powers, he couldn't do anything. It's been keeping me up, this feeling I've been having. I haven't slept in nights. I've just got this bad feeling that someone is watching me." He was pleading.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Tony replied honestly.

Steve turned away the darkness settling in around his features and hiding his face in the blackness. "I don't know, to be honest," he said, "But I feel comfortable with you, I feel like I can tell you these things. If I told Clint or Banner, they'd just laugh…"

There was a sharp pain in the back of Tony's head that disabled him from speaking his own thoughts; instead something else escaped his mouth that he hadn't filtered, "I would never laugh at you. You're my friend, as you said. What would you like me to do? I'll do anything I can,"

Steve looked up his features becoming visible again, "Can I stay the night in here tonight? Maybe if I'm with someone I won't feel watched,"

That pain again, "Of course, Rogers,"

Steve woke up sprawled out on Tony's bed and looked around frantically for his friend while a little stream of light broke through the blinds. Tony was sleeping on the floor next to his bed with his back pinned against the frame. Heavy, rhythmic breathing indicated that he was still asleep and Steve felt relieved. He felt better in Tony's room; he didn't feel like someone was watching him and this, too, relieved him. He lay back down and hear Tony stir.

"You awake?" he heard Stark ask.

"Yeah, just woke up," Steve replied sitting up again. Tony just laid where he was and didn't move.

"Feel better?"

"Yes, actually. Thank you for letting me stay the night," he said. "I'll leave if you want,"

Tony shook his head knowing Steve couldn't really see it, "Stay."

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No." he lied. _Yes. _

"I'm always here, Tony,"

"I know." He whispered. _It's too late. _"Please stay."

Steve felt at a loss of words, he didn't know where this sudden plea was coming from, but as Tony helped him last night he was going to quickly return the favor, "Alright,"

He woke up and Steve was still in his bed curled up against the wall. Tony got up and left the room quietly.

_Prove yourself._

Tony began wondering if this was a bad idea.

_Show me that you're worthy. _

The pain in the back of his head began again and he felt his chest tighten; he couldn't breathe. He bent down to catch his hands on his knees and gasped.

_I'm waiting._

His chest tightened and he knew Loki was suffocating him. He collapsed on the floor clawing at his chest for air. His fingers hit his arc reactor and he pried at it, pulled at it, tried to get it out.

Then it hit him. In these few moments of suffocating on the floor, Tony finally understood why Loki wanted him.

His fingers managed to twist the arc open and he fumbled to get it out.

He heard footsteps down the hallway, "Tony!"


	3. Chapter 3

Tony woke up eyes fluttering. His chest and head burned with pain so intense he closed his eyes hoping the pain would dissipate with this action. He felt something hard on his hand and difficulty opened his eyes again to see what it was. Clint was laying on the edge of the bed with his head buried in his arms. His one hand rested on top of Tony's.

"You're awake,"

He closed his eyes again as the pain increased. "Yeah," he replied feeling his throat burn with words.

"Tony, can I ask you something?"

"I need…rest," he didn't really want to talk much more; it was causing him to breathe difficulty.

"Alright, I'll ask later when you're feeling better." Steve whispered.

Tony tried relaxing, but it was no use. He needed something to put him under. Loki said it wouldn't be that much of his controlling, but the more Tony thought about it the more he cringed inside. Loki lied to him. He didn't know if he'd transferred his powers or not, but he knew the bastard was inside his head controlling almost everything now.

He didn't want to rest anymore as he became more fidgety, "Where's Loki?"

Steve looked up from his hands, "He's in his cell." He said blatantly like it was obvious.

"Bring him to me." Tony said as Clint stuttered a breath in his sleep.

"Stark, I really don't think that's a good idea. Fury will be pissed if I let him out of his cell."

"Then help me up," Tony knew he wouldn't make it far, but he began pushing himself up to sit and this woke Clint up.

"You're up!" he exclaimed happily. "Don't have an asthma attack like that again, man! Scared the shit out of me! Almost literally! Wait, why are you getting up?" he looked taken aback and looked at Steve who got up from his seat. "Hey!"

"He wants to talk to Loki," Rogers replied as Tony was sent into a fit of gasping for air.

"He totally shouldn't be getting out of bed," Clint proclaimed, "Look! I didn't even know he was asthmatic!" he got up and pushed Steve away from Tony. "Hey, Tony, can't you wait until you feel better?" he asked looking down pleadingly.

"No!" Tony yelled as his hands slipped and he fell back onto his bed. "I. Need. To. See. Him." He growled through gritted teeth.

Steve looked alarmingly at Clint who returned the same look, "Tony…why do you need to see him like this?" Clint asked hesitantly.

"JUST GET ME TO HIM!"

Steve pushed Clint aside and hauled Tony across his shoulders so he was resting piggy-back style on his back.

"Steve! I really-! Don't!" Clint scrambled over and blocked the exit. "He's just going to get worse!"

"If asthma is all we're worried about here then I don't see a reason why I'm not allowed to carry him."

"Because he wants to talk to the goddamned _enemy_, Rogers. I'm concerned about that tiny fact,"

Steve raised a brow, "You don't trust him?"

Clint looked conflicted and worried but stepped aside.

"Just stay here if you're that concerned, Barton," Steve pushed past his friend and made his way down to the cellar. Clint followed close behind not risking anything. When they went past a certain hallway, he disappeared only for a moment and returned with his trusty bow and a couple of arrows. "Really?" Steve asked.

"We're not dealing with just any prisoner," he grumbled as they finally made it to the cell.

Loki, as usual, was laying down back facing them on his bench. "What do you want?" he asked his voice echoing muffled against the glass.

"Tony wants to speak to you." Steve stated.

Loki smiled but knew he couldn't be seen, "I know." He sits up slowly and crosses his legs and folds his arms across his chest.

Steve sets Tony down carefully in the chair and stands next to it protectively.

"Leave." Tony states harshly looked up at his friends.

"I'm not leaving you here alone with him," Clint says placing an arrow on his thumb.

"LEAVE!" Tony screamed and Loki smirked. The two hesitated for a few, long minutes but left.

Clint began to walk away down the hall, but Steve stayed next to the door and cracked it ever-so-slightly and listened.

"Steve, what're you doing?" Clint whispered.

"I thought you were curious." Steve said raising his eyebrow again. Clint didn't give a response and huddled close next to his friend.

Tony looked sharply at Loki. Loki just smiled. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked slyly.

"What…what did you do?" Tony whispered for fear if he talked too loudly his head and chest would explode.

"I did as we agreed upon."

"No!" Tony yelled cringing in pain at the volume of his voice. "You…lied!"

"I am the god of lies, you know." Loki's smirk widened watching the man he trapped wither.

Tony struggled to stand, and managed his way over to the control panel again. He pressed the familiar button and opened the cell door.

Steve gasped and Clint clutched his bow, "What the hell is he doing?" Steve demanded in a harsh whisper.

Tony stumbled and fell close to the entrance of the cell and Loki stood and walked over to help him stand. Stark's face was covered in perspiration and his lips were pursed with struggle. "My powers on a mere mortal has this effect. Give it time, my friend, you will heal."

"You…" Tony spat clutching onto Loki's clothes as if they were the only thing keeping him standing.

"You…what?" Loki breathed lighty making the room between them disappear. Their noses were touching and their chests met.

Clint rose and grabbed the handle of the door to push it further open, but Steve pulled him back barley catching his friend's fall.

"I forfeit." Tony mumbled as a tear stung his eye.

"It's not been a day and you're already giving up? Is the…pain…too much? Does carrying my power, my emotions, my…everything cause you pain?" Loki was no longer happy or playful.

"Y-yes." Tony's eyes fluttered closed as the pain heightened.

"I'm afraid I can only stand by that with one condition."

"_Fuck _your conditions." Tony growled.

"Oh, by all means, please do." Loki grinned again. Tony's eyes shot open and he tried pushing Loki away. "What's the matter? You don't like it?" he bit at Stark's nose playfully.

"We have to help him!" Clint badgered Steve who kept him sitting on the floor.

"I don't think he's going to hurt him." Steve whispered watching closely. "He's just threatening."

"Loki…" Tony whispered not able to keep himself conscious for much longer.

"Give it another day and you'll be right as rain. Will all my powers in your tiny body, imagine what everything inside you is doing. You couldn't imagine it be just a snap of the fingers and it be done? My pet, rest. Come to me when you feel better." And he pushed Tony outside of the cell and went back onto his bench. He looked over at the door in which Steve and Clint were behind and smiled.

The two rushed in, Clint going to close the cell door, while Steve rushed over to Tony.


	4. Chapter 4

Tony refused to go back into the infirmary, and instead made Steve take him to his bedroom where he had his electronics to play with.

A boom of thunder shook the building and the lights flickered for the millionth time threatening to go out.

"Want to explain what that was with Loki?" Steve asked angrily.

Tony shook his head still in dire pain and curled up into his covers lightly moaning from his agony. Steve sighed noticing now wasn't the time to ask. He did hear Loki say that his powers would take another day or so to settle in. Why Tony took on Loki's powers was beyond him, and he wanted answers now, but obviously they had to wait.

Clint stood at the doorway with his arms crossed with his arrows in one hand and his bow strapped around his shoulders.

Steve left Tony after he could hear him sleeping and pulled Clint aside outside of the door. "We can't tell anybody about this. You hear me?"

"He traded his soul or something for Loki's powers. Why in the ever living fuck would Stark trade _anything_ for something of Loki's?" Clint practically yelled. Steve covered Clint's mouth with his hand and pinned him against the wall.

"If you say anything about this before we find out if this is dangerous or not, you'll have another thing coming." Steve threatened his voice so low Clint swallowed hard. "Do you understand?" Clint nodded quickly into Steve's hand. He slowly let go and watch Clint take a step back. "We'll check up on him tomorrow." And with that he left down towards his own room, and at the same time Natasha passed him and eyed him suspiciously.

"What're you two doing outside of Stark's room?" she asked making her way over to Clint who looked like he'd just seen a ghost.

"Nothing." His voice squeaked and he ran the other direction.

The next day passed quickly and soon the sun was rising for another new day. The rain came down hard, lightning flashed, and thunder shook the building. The power was out of the building for most of the day, so no one messed with any electronics. The Avengers, apart from Tony, all sat in the mess hall playing a board game in which Thor didn't understand and began making up his own rules to compensate for his losing streak.

Tony wandered into the room and took a seat next to Bruce.

"Well look who decided to join us," Bruce stated with a smile on his face. He slapped Tony's back in welcome and rejoined the game as it rested on his turn.

"Yeah, wasn't feeling too well yesterday," he said taking Thor's drink and sipping on it.

"I do not mind sharing, Tony, if you're willing to refill it once you've emptied the glass. Everytime you steal my beverage I'm cornered with an empty cup." Thor said watching the board game.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled into the cup.

Hours passed effortlessly and Tony finally decided to make his way back down to Loki yet again. He stood from the table after the group ended another game of Monopoly.

"Where you off to?" Clint asked knowing very well where he was going.

"Not feeling too well, after all. I think I'm going to go lie down for a bit," he lied continuing his stride to the doors.

"Do you want some company?" Steve asked looking at Clint then to Tony.

Tony hesitated knowing that they knew now. "No…" he trailed off leaving the room.

"Fuck it," Clint said getting up a few moments later to follow his friend.

"Is he okay?" Bruce asked feeling concerned.

"No, he wouldn't take his medicine yesterday, so I'm going to shove it down his throat." Clint answered leaving the mess hall.

"Not in pain anymore, are we?" Loki asked not looking up from examining his nails.

"I've-"

"Changed your mind? Oh, I know," he looked up. "But, once you've made an oath to a God, they keep it."

Tony stood silently watching the man before him.

Loki sighed and stood making his way over to get as close to Stark as he could. "You had no hesitation two days ago when we made the deal. Why change now?"

"I've realized this is a mistake."

"Are you saying that because your friend is listening on the other side of the door, or because you really mean it?" Loki squinted his eyes.

"I mean it."

"Your heart says otherwise,"

"You don't know what my goddamned heart says,"

"On the contrary, human. I can see that you're conflicted, yes, but not that you mean to regret what you've chosen to do. Now that your friends know you have partly a reason to return the contract, but my good man, I will not grant this favor."

"LOKI!" Tony screamed.

"You…you, Tony Stark, are the one who came to _me_."

There was silence around them for what seemed like hours as they stared at eachother.

"You mean to kill me." Tony whispered looking away and down at his arc reactor. "You tried making me take it out."

"That is true, that I tried making you take it out, but killing you…not quite yet." Loki looked at him a little puzzled.

"Then what were you doing?"

"Trying to take it out."

"You know that's what kills me, right?"

"Yes."

"I don't-"

"Taking the thing out of your chest would have immobilized you and would have stopped the pain from taking my powers. _That_ is what I was trying to do. Not kill you, just remove it long enough so you'd fall unconscious and not have to be awake during the transfer."

"Oh…"

"People think I don't care for humans, Tony Stark, but it's quite the opposite. There are a few that I care deeply about."

"Enthrall me,"

"You, for example." Loki looked straight-faced; he was serious.

Tony faked a barking laugh.

"You do not believe me? Why would I give you my powers? Why would I try to lighten the pain I would have more than happily inflicted upon your friend at the door? You laugh as though I'm not serious,"

Tony chuckled a little less loudly and watched Loki sit on the floor of his cell.

"I care for you as I would my brother, Anthony. It's complicated to explain," he looked away for only a second, "But you and I are so alike, I cannot bare to ignore the possibilities that lie ahead."

"And what 'possibilities' would those entail?"

Loki smirked so devilishly that it actually gave Tony Goosebumps, "Only time will tell with that one, Anthony."


	5. Chapter 5

Days had passed and Tony refused to visit Loki. He could feel Loki take hold of him at times, but he didn't dare make a presence infront of him while his mind was still confused by the man's statement.

"Possibilities…" he mumbled pressing things on his phone.

The rain had stopped only a day before and the sun was shining bright. The other Avengers were currently out shopping, getting food, and messing around while the weather still allowed it. Clint, however, had snuck home – with the permission of Steve – to spy on Tony. He hovered over the handle to the library where Tony was currently at wondering if his friend would get angry.

But he opened the door and cautiously looked in. Tony looked up for a brief second and then back down at his phone. "Hey," he called. "Not shopping with the others?"

Clint walked over and sat next to his friend. "Tony, I-"

"I'm glad the rain stopped. I hate the rain,"

"Tony-"

"With no electricity, basically, for the last week or so I've been backed up on emails. Look," he showed Clint the screen of his phone, "1,679 unread messages. All that I have to go through, because Pepper won't read them for me anymore after I started reading "dirty online books"."

"That's great, but Tony-"

"I can never tell if they're important or not, so I have to go through-"

"TONY!" Clint slammed his fists hard down on the desk and this made Stark jump. He flew back in his chair surprised. "What the fuck are you doing?" he blurted out not really able to put his thoughts into any other form.

"W-what?"

"With Loki! You know that Steve and I know! Why in ever living hell would you take something of Loki's? Especially his powers! I thought he was stripped of them!"

"Uhm-"

"You talk to him as though he's your best buddy or some shit, then you go and confront him, open the fucking cell door, and actually listen to what he says about you two being so alike! It pisses me off! Tony, YOU'RE TALKING TO THE ENEMY!" Clint looked like he was on the verge of tears.

Tony was speechless and he heard his phone thud onto the desk as his hands went weak. "It's not what you think." He whispered not able to make eye contact any longer.

"Then please, tell me. I'm so wondering why the fuck you're talking to the guy who tried to enslave our entire planet with another alien race."

"Him and I are alike, Clint, that's a fact." Tony finally managed to say.

"How? How is that a man who likes to kill for fun any way similar to the Tony Stark I know?" Clint had legit tears in his eyes.

"I'm not going to sit here and explain my personal life with you, Barton. I'm not. That's out of the question. Nope. Not doing it. If you want to know why Loki and I are so similar, go read my biography, because I had one published about a year ago. Then again, read my father's biography while we're in the library, because God knows that that man screwed me over to make me break like this. You think because I have a shit ton of money that my life is rainbows and sunshine?" he stood up at this point, "It's not. I've been told by many people I thought were close to me tell me what a shit person I am, that I'm selfish, not easy to get along with, and that yeah, I do make bargains with the Devil, and do you want to know why, Barton? Because I believed them and I started doing them. May I remind you, this all happened before I turned 21." He now, too, had tears in his eyes. "I don't care if he killed hundreds of people; I've ruined just as many lives as he has, just in different ways. Maybe I am doing all of this because I am fucking crazy, but you know what? I stopped caring long ago." His tears finally fell and he quickly wiped them away.

"Tony…"

"I'm done. I'm out." He began to walk to the door.

"Come back!" Clint exclaimed wiping his own eyes. "Tony, we all care about you! We may not have known you for that long, but…but…we care! We love you! All of us, and we worry! We're a team, Tony that means your pain is our pain. We stick by you no matter what. If you're going through stuff like this, go seek help! We'll help you get there; you know we'd do anything to make things okay in your world. All of us have our sins; all of us have made bargains with the Devil. Except Steve, I think that guy is literally a Saint, but that's beside the point. My point is, Tony, is that we love you and want to see you be…okay."

"I AM NOT OKAY!" Tony whirled around screaming. "I HAVE NEVER BEEN OKAY!" he wiped his face some more. "Goddammit, I hate crying," he mumbled. "I only went into this whole shitty situation with the Avengers because I was finally pushed with a friend's death. Coulson was my push, Barton, and that was the only reason I'm in this."

"Then…then…! Stay in it for him!" he was grasping at anything he could now.

"_NO!_" he roared so unlike him that Clint shut up. Tony clutched at his chest as it sprung up in pain. It was a different pain than he'd experienced days before, this was new, and it almost felt good.

"Don't you…care for us too…?" Clint whispered so quietly that Tony almost had to ask him to repeat it again.

Tears were freefalling on both ends now, "Fuck," Tony wiped his face, "This isn't about you. Or Steve. Or Banner. Or anyone! It's about me, Barton, ME!" he was throwing his hands out wishing he could make his friend understand.

Clint didn't know what to say; he was out of words. Out of anything. He knew that this situation pretty much meant he was losing a very close friend, and he didn't want to handle that. He'd only know a few people he knew he could trust his entire life, and Tony had joined that little circle when the Avengers banded together. He trusted him, he thought, despite his past, he was good. "I…" he sighed sniffling loudly, "I…was wrong about you, I guess."

Tony stiffened.

"When we met…" he wiped his cheeks to get the tear stains from it, "I thought you were the most badass guy I'd ever seen. Not only did you help make incredible weaponry, but you turned after you were captured and decided to use your money and knowledge for good. I thought that the Iron Man suit was worthy of being in such good, capable hands that wanted to help protect Earth like the rest of us did, but I was _wrong._" He said the last word like it was poison on his tongue, and Tony didn't like that. "I would pass your room when you thought you were alone wanting to see if you'd get a drink, but instead I'd hear you throwing stuff, breaking lamps, and crying. I didn't know if I should go in and try to comfort or leave you alone in your misery. And I made the mistake of leaving you alone, because that day was the day before you talked to Loki. If I'd said something, maybe you wouldn't be-"

Tony left the room leaving Clint to stare at where he'd been standing before. He clutched his fists on the table and scrunched his eyes closed as new tears fell to the wooden table. "-gone."


	6. Chapter 6

Tony found himself running. No, not running. Sprinting. He felt that running wouldn't get him far enough away from Clint, but just as he ran to the front door of the building, the Avengers began to pile in with their many bags from shopping.

"Tony!" Thor boomed happily but they all kind of shut up seeing how blotchy red his eyes, nose, cheeks, and throat were. He quickly whirled around and began, trying to be casual, to walk the other direction.

"You alright?" Natasha asked calling after him as they all slowly followed him, because he was headed to the elevators and there was no way in hell any of them wanted to take 8576 flights of stairs to their rooms.

Instead of going to the elevators, though, Tony walked outside to the pavilion and walked to the exit gate that would lead him to the streets of New York.

Steve went to Clint's room and knocked. There was no answer, "Hey, Clint, you there?" No answer. He slowly opened the door to make sure he wasn't sleeping and found him curled on his bed huddled under his three blankets. His eyes were open and he was just staring at the wall. They looked glossy and red, like Tony's had. "Hey…what's wrong?" he asked.

Clint buried his face in the covers and didn't say anything.

"What did he do?" Steve asked firmly now feeling a little cross. "Did he hurt you? Did he-"

"He didn't touch me, Steve," Clint mumbled.

"Then…"

Clint sat up shoving the blankets off of his chest and looked up at Steve, "He believes he can't be saved or helped. He basically told me he's depressed out of his fucking mind and doesn't think we can help. That's why he turned to Loki, because they 'have things in common'," he stuck up his two fingers on each hand to quote the last four words.

"But…why are you crying?"

"I GET REALLY EMOTIONAL SOMETIMES." He yelled and Steve couldn't help but smirk just a little, "Especially…" he was serious now, "When he doesn't think his _friends_ can help him."

"You can't save everybody." Steve said blatantly.

"I have to try…I have to try when I look at him like a brother." Clint looked up pleadingly. "I was telling Stark, that even though we may not have been together long, I've mentally adopted you all as my siblings. Well…except…you,"

Steve had never really dealt with anyone who had depression so he didn't really know how to handle it. Yeah, he got sad when he woke up in the 2000's, but he realized there was nothing he could possibly do to go back. He didn't linger on the facts; he moved on and made new friends. "Can I ask you something?" he asked.

"What?" Clint asked looking down at his blankets.

"Is it okay…if…" he looked lost for words and his breathing became quick. Clint looked up. "Is it okay if I kiss you?"

Clint looked up and reached to grab Steve, "You don't even have to ask."

Loki sat in his cell thinking. That's all he was left to do was to think. He asked Fury for a magazine, and upon Fury's return it was a porno. Not that Loki minded, but he couldn't really do anything about wanting to jackoff in an open cell.

But yes, thinking is what he was left to do and he thought about many different things. How the food tasted so weird on Earth, the way they dressed, talked, everything. He was confused by it, to be honest, but he couldn't show any of those emotions to anyone because then they'd laugh at him. He'd been too much of a disappointment and a laugh to Asgard his entire life, might as well keep his mouth shut now.

One thing he was proud of, though, was that he kept some of his power to tap into Tony's mind. He could hear everything he said, thought, yelled, cried, you name it he heard it, and upon hearing the spat with Clint he felt rather…confirmed. He didn't know how else to put it other than it had justified everything he was sticking his neck out for. And upon their argument, Loki had implanted in Tony's mind that seeking his advice would be the best thing.

On queue, Tony burst into the room and slammed his hands against the glass. "Loki…"

"I know." He whispered.

Tony looked up ready to cry again and pressed his forehead against the glass. "You have to help me get out of here."

"That, I cannot do."

"Do something…"

"Get Fury to help me get my own room. Persuade him I'm not evil."

Tony looked up, and after a moment he said, "I'll try."


	7. Chapter 7

Somehow he had managed it. It took weeks, but he had managed his request.

Loki walked into his new room and took a long look around at the bed, window, small dresser, and the door that led to his own personal bathroom.

"Well?" Tony asked waiting in the doorway.

"Perfect." Loki said simply sitting down at the foot of his bed looking out the window and at the other building surrounding them.

"There's clothes in the dresser, and I put some cosmetics in the bathroom. Shampoo and stuff, no makeup."

Loki arched a brow turning his attention to Tony, "Makeup?"

"Well when Nat moved in she said I 'had to shop for her makeup because that's how you get to know a woman better'. But honestly, since these freaks moved in I've had no women over." He laughed crossing his arms across his chest.

"I see," Loki said looking out the window again. "The view is nice."

"Yeah, all the rooms have nice views. That's how I designed the place, afterall."

Loki was quiet. He didn't say much, nor move much, he just sat and stared out the window.

"Well, I'll be back in a while," Tony said getting ready to leave.

"You don't have to go. I'm just enjoying my freedom." Loki said. "And since none of the Avengers are talking to you, you might as well keep me company,"

Tony felt his stomach drop, "That was a little harsh."

"Truth hurts, doesn't it?"

Tony smiled, "I'll visit later," and he left closing the door softly and walked down to his own room.

It wasn't _all_ of the Avengers ignoring him, it was just Steve and Clint. Bruce was always quiet, he usually kept to himself despite everything. Natasha was always secretive too, she never said anything unless asked directly. And Thor talked to everyone despite what they'd done in the past, even to Loki, who Tony was realizing their often visits.

Those were valid reasons, right?

Loki laid down on his soft bed and curled up with the pillow, burying his face into it. It had seemed like an eternity that he had to sleep on that stiff bench; his back was aching, his neck was murder, and his legs felt cramped. But now he got to stretch out of the 'Tempurpedic Mattress', as Tony had called it, and found sleep was soon his ally.

Not far into his sleep he was jarred awake by his door opening and closing loudly. He looked up, still getting used to the fact that he was no longer in a cage, and found Thor. "I didn't mean to wake you, brother," he said sitting at the end of the bed.

"You're quite loud," Loki stated closing his eyes again.

"I am sorry," he said smirking a little.

"What brings you here, this fine afternoon?" Loki asked sighing.

"Cannot I not come to see my brother?" Thor asked a little disappointed.

Loki smiled into his pillow, "If that's what you wish."

"Have you really turned good? Have you repented your old ways?"

"Oh yes, brother," he opened his eyes, "I've seen the light now, rainbows and unicorns have filled my mind with glorious…purpose."

"You mock me, brother,"

"When do I not?"

"This is true," they both smiled. "But…have you gotten better?"

"In my eyes, I have,"

"That does not answer my question." Thor looked a little frustrated. "You were always mischievous, but you never wanted to kill anyone."

Loki frowned, "You do not know what I want,"

"You wish to kill hundreds of innocent lives?"

Loki didn't answer but instead brought a smile back to his face, "You must trust me. If Fury believes I have…repented, as you say, then you must trust his, Tony's, and my actions that this is…for the best,"

"There has never been a day that I don't trust you, Loki, but what I am concerned about is the health of my friends. If you dare hurt them I will have to step in,"

"What do you think of Tony Stark?"

"He is my friend."

"Even though your other two friends ignore him?"

"They have their reasons – reasons I know not of – but he is my friend and I will always stay by his side,"

"What if I told you I'd given him my powers?"

Thor looked cross. He stood up and stared hard at his brother, "Why would you-"

"It was only a theoretical question, that's all,"

"If that's all it is…then I would ask why. You were stripped of your powers a month ago. I do not see how that would be possible, anyways."

"Yet, you go cross by the very _idea_ of it." Loki pushes himself under the comforter ready for a long nap.

"Our powers are not meant for mortals, brother, they'll kill any human. Not immediately, but overtime. Did you not pay attention in school when we were younger?" Thor asked now concerned.

"I said it was theoretical, did I not?" Loki asked forcing a smile. His insides churned.

"Yes…you did. But now I worry. Why would you think of something like that? Give it two months time and he'd be dead."

"Another theoretical question," Loki poked, "Is it reversible?"

Thor's brows furrowed now understanding, "Loki…what have you done?" he was whispering now.

"Damn."

"If Tony dies…"

"He's your friend, I know. Now will you get out? I'm tired," he faked a yawn and buried his face deep into his sheets.

Thor was without words; he was confused and now understood Steve and Clint's actions, but they didn't know the consequences of Loki's doing. They didn't know Tony was going to die.

He now realized he had to change their way of looking at Tony and befriend him once again. When Tony dies, they'll blame themselves. Thor couldn't have them doing that.


	8. Chapter 8

Loki couldn't stop thinking about it. Why hadn't he paid more attention in school during his youth? He pressed his hands against his face as he lay in bed frustrated over the one thing he was trying to prevent. He didn't want to kill anyone anymore, and that was the honest truth. The whole 'taking over Earth' thing was just to prove to his brother and adoptive father that he _could_ do something, even if it was bad. He wasn't just someone behind the curtain as the main act preformed, or even the shadow to his brother; no, he knew he was more and felt the need to prove to them.

And it had worked.

But just as he was trying to do some good, to help another man out with the same issues, it backfires.

There was a knock on the door and Loki could hear Tony shuffling nervously outside of it. "Come in," he said sitting up.

Tony came in, the arc reactor the only light in the room, and stood. "What do I do now?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Loki asked confused.

"I have your powers, how do I use them?"

"Oh," he said as his gut churned. "You don't have to use them yet." Maybe not using them would spare his life.

"But…I don't understand. What's the opportunity you're waiting for?"

_There is no opportunity._ "What do you want to use it for now? You don't have any villains attacking you,"

"Yeah, but can't you use the powers for other things?"

Loki didn't want to answer that, but he did, "Yes."

"So teach me. If I went through that excruciating pain for nothing, I'll kick your ass,"

"What do you want to learn?"

"How to make an omelet."

Natasha and Clint had a Disney movie playing while Steve sat enthralled. He had never seen a Disney movie before, and they were currently watching Mulan, something Natasha and Clint thought he could relate to only for the mere fact it was army/war related.

None of the other Avengers were particularly fond of Loki being let out of the cell, but if Fury ordered it, then they knew they had to trust him.

Thor sat silently in a chair thinking and decided to blurt, "We should invite Tony! He loves Disney movies, does he not?"

"Yeah, but I'm sure he's _busy_." Clint snapped.

"Preoccupied, is what you mean to say," Steve corrected.

"Ah, yes, thank you." Clint smiled playing with Natasha's hair.

"I'm going to go get him." Thor stated getting up and dashing down the hall. He emerged with Tony minutes later who was gripping about being forced to do things. Clint nor Steve said anything to him.

"Hey," Natasha smiled greeting her friend. "You sure are in your room a lot,"

"Yeah, I like the dark these days," Tony laughed.

Clint mocked a laugh and said, "I bet." Steve elbowed him in the ribs. "What?"

Normally people ignoring Tony never bothered him, but since his conversation with Clint last he felt a pang of annoyance and depression. They were supposed to be his friends, right?

But wait.

He basically told Clint that he didn't want to be friends with any of them when dealing with this.

Tony sat down next to Thor nonetheless and watched quietly. Steve eyed him every now and then as Tony would laugh and make snide remarks to the movie. It wasn't the fact that Steve had never seen the movie that bothered him about Tony, but it was as if nothing ever affected him.

Once the movie ended Steve said, "What others are there?"

"Well, if Loki was here I'd suggest Beauty and the Beast, but I'm up for some Hercules. Thor, you'd like that one,"

So they decided on Hercules.

Natasha eventually fell asleep on the floor, Clint and Steve were whispering to eachother, and Tony and Thor were commenting on how awesome the movie was.

It ended and it was incredibly late at this point. Natasha, Steve, and Thor retired to their rooms leaving Clint alone with Tony.

"I should go to bed," Tony said getting up.

"Please…" Clint whispered looking down into his hands.

"Hmm?"

"Tony, I…"

"It's fine,"

"No, it's not. I feel bad,"

"Didn't seem like it an hour ago,"

Clint stood from the couch and went over to Tony, "I'm worried. All the fucking time. I don't know what to say or how to act. You did let the bad guy give you his powers. You talk to him like he's your best friend-"

"So you've said."

"I just-"

"You 'just' what?"

"I don't know!"

They were quiet for a minute, "It's nice that you and Steve are on the same side then, huh?"

"What?"

"Don't give me shit, you know exactly what I'm talking about, Barton. You both know what I did and you both teamed up. I get it. I know the signs. That's how I was raised, but you know what? If that's how you two assholes are going to be-"

"Now _we're_ the assholes?" Clint barked. "I offered to help you through this weeks ago and you left! You didn't say anything reassuring that you needed our help, you left the conversation and I took that as you were done." Tony made for the exit, "Just like that! You're going to run from me _again_?" he was yelling now.

"Clint, _I don't know what to do._" Tony said so sharply that Clint stared for a minute. "Yeah, I got him out of his cell, woop-de-fucking-do, I convinced Fury that he's good, and now I'm stuck here with this. Yeah, I asked for it. Go me. I'm awesome. Whatever. And you know what, I'm going to prove it."

"Prove what, Tony?" Clint asked exacerbated, "You have nothing to prove to us!"

"_YES I DO!_" he screamed.

"Tony, please, don't-"

"Just wait." Tony left leaving Clint by himself yet again.


	9. Chapter 9

After a month of nothing, a kind of stirring began within the Avengers. Everyone was becoming on edge with everybody and with New York. Nothing had happened, there was no crime; nothing to have use of them.

Steve and Thor had watched every Disney movie, Tony kept away in his room, Loki went out and volunteered at a pet store, Natasha and Clint were hooked on a shooting game, and Bruce was testing a few things in his lab for Fury.

But in this time of finding things to do, everyone was snapping at eachother causing a friction to form.

"Can we watch Sleeping Beauty?" Thor asked holding up the movie. Steve shrugged.

"Put it in. I forgot what that one was about," he admitted making a new bowl of popcorn. Thor looked happily at the disk and placed it carefully in the DVD player – this was the only piece of technology he had learned the use.

There was a buzz over the intercom and Fury came over, "Avengers Assemble. We have an issue down at the intersection of Fifth Avenue and West 34th Street. We've got some woman causing havoc in the Empire State Building. Looks like she has hostages in the basement. Also said to be guards that have been compromised by her powers, much like Loki did to Barton a few months back. Get on it quick," and the transmission was over.

Everyone jumped from what they were doing; movie and game still running, and experiments left to explode.

With everyone there – Loki didn't have a clue – they split up. Thor, Steve, and Barton went down to the basement while Natasha, Tony, and Bruce went up top.

Upon their ascent to the top of the building, Bruce spotted some more civilians being held captive and left Natasha and Tony to the woman.

They got to the top floor and said woman was sitting in a chair, face locked on a computer screen, and fingers blurring past the keyboard. She was dressed rather provocatively with a small, red corset accompanied by a pair of blue shorts that looked ripped up to her butt. She had black combat boots on and Tony noticed the rather sharp brass knuckles placed tightly on her fingers – somehow she was still able to type with such speed.

All in all, Tony had thought she looked rather like a street-fighting-hooker. "You're causing a bit of trouble here," he stated opening the helmet of his suit.

She stopped typing and looked up. She had hazel eyes and long hair to match. "Nice outfit." She commented eying him up. "I'm guessing you're here to stop me?"

"Pretty much," Tony stated. "Can I ask what you're doing first? You have prisoners held, yet you…Tumble? Facebook status update?"

"Nothing that concerns you, Iron Man,"

"Oh, so you _do_ now who we are." Natasha stated.

"Of course I do, everyone knows who you are," she said crossing her legs.

"Then you know we're going to kick your ass," Tony snarled with a grin.

"On the contrary," she stood up making sure her brass knuckles were in place.

"Combat fighting?" Natasha asked.

"Not technically," and she ran at Natasha and threw a punch. Nat cleared it by a mile, but a sort of spark of electricity flickered across the woman's knuckles and shot out, what looked like glass, and into Natasha's chest. Blood squirted from the puncture wounds and she fell screaming.

"Bad move," Tony growled as his helmet covered his face. He charged his gloves and began firing at her, but she moved swiftly out of the way of each blast and then shot out more of the glass at his stomach. It pierced through his suit and he fell over screaming in pain.

He scrunched his eyes tightly in agony before he remembered his new powers. He concentrated on the glass sticking out of his suit and felt his skin heal around them. He pulled the shards out forcefully and felt them heal completely.

Loki had trained him the past month on how to use different things. Loki would attack him and scratch him purposefully to show him how to heal, which Tony now had come to appreciate.

The woman shoved blow after blow to him sending more glass shards through his armor, but Tony continued to think. He had to find her weakness. He threw a couple of punches at her which didn't do much, but then he managed to snap her nose in two and watched blood gush down her face and down her neck. "So you are human, afterall," he stated smiling.

This made her angry. She kicked him in the stomach with so much force he flew back and went through the wall that joined that room with the elevator lobby. Just as he hit the ground, Thor and Steve bustled out of the elevator.

"Get…Natasha! She's down," Tony gasped through his armor.

"Got it," Steve rushed into the next room but came flying out landing next to Tony with a loud thud.

"I will handle this," Thor stated swinging his hammer as he, too, went into the room.

Tony stumbled up, feeling his skin heal to her wounds, and looked down at Steve who was gasping hard. Blood was seeping through his suit and spread rapidly on his chest. "Shit…"

"Go!" Steve yelled pushing the man away.

Tony left him and went to assist Thor, but he now, too, was bloodied next to a small cubicle. Blood seeped from his mouth and the woman held his hammer and looked at it admiringly.

"How did you-"

"This hammer is supposed to hold unlimited power." She said smiling. "Unable to be controlled by none other than Thor himself," she tossed it into her other hand and looked at the inscribing on the trimming.

"Put it down." Tony threatened.

"Or…what?" she looked up at him with menacing eyes.

"You'll regret it."

"Oh, I think you'll be the one regretting your actions," she began swinging the hammer and it trickled with sparks. She threw the hammer at him and Tony swung his arm deflecting the weapon. It pierced so hard into his armor his bone snapped in two and pain shattered through his body. He screamed as the woman retracted the hammer back into her grasp.

Loki never taught him how to cure broken bones.

She swung the hammer once more and it crashed into his mask. He felt the hammer pierce through his mask and smashed his nose in, busted his lips, and felt his left eye smash back into his skull. He instantly knew blood was pouring down his face as the hammer retracted back into the woman's hand yet again. He bent down spitting blood onto the floor.

His phone began to ring, "Jarvis, who is it?" he asked hoping.

"Mister Loki is calling, sir,"

"Answer,"

She began swinging the hammer again.

"Hey, Tony, no ones at the-"

"Get to the Empire State Building _now_."

"Why, what's-!"

"HURRY UP!" he yelled as the hammer swung from her grasp and towards his face one last time.


	10. Chapter 10

Loki closed his phone and took off his apron. He had to wear one at the petshop and liked to wear it home. With nothing more than the casual clothes on his back, he ran to hail a cab and was off to the Empire State Building.

When he arrived, police, fire trucks, and a few ambulances had their lights blaring and were hauling people out of the building. Loki ran to the Caution tape and pushed a guard aside.

Forgetting he was just a human now, he took the elevator to the top floor and it dinged open. Upon the doors creaking open a blast of light shot at him and he dodged it by slamming his body against the right side of the shaft. He ducked down, and ran out into the lobby and hid behind a small portion of wall. Steve had curled himself up into the corner of the lobby and clutched his chest. What was once blue on his chest was now a deep, crimson red. He had blood seeping out of his mouth and down his chin and a stream out of his nose. He looked at Loki and shook his head.

"Don't…" he breathed.

Loki peered into the room noticing a pool of blood puddle under Natasha, who remained lifeless and felt his stomach cringe. He saw Thor struggle to get up and moved behind a cubical for protection. He rested his head on the wall and inhaled deeply. The wounds on his neck and arms began to regenerate and heal, but Loki knew his brother's powers were powerful but it always took longer than Loki ever could.

He had to move and think fast. He peered around the corner once more looking for Tony and felt his heart stop. Just on the backside of the wall Loki said pressed against Tony sat.

His nose looked beyond repair, his entire bottom half of his face smothered in blood, and his left eye already blackened and forced closed. A bone was poking its way through his armor on his arm and Loki knew they had never practiced with broken bones before. But why wasn't he healing himself now? Why hadn't he put up a transparent force field was beyond him, but now wasn't time to worry about that.

"Loki, stay here." Steve commanded whispering as new blood bubbled out of his mouth.

"No, I have to-"

"You'll die."

Loki was aware of this, but he had to do something to help them. "Where's Banner and Barton?" he asked Steve.

"Not sure,"

Loki ran, pressed the elevator button, ran back to his spot, waited for the elevator to open, ran inside, and shoved himself the wall again. There was another attack into the elevator and he smashed the 'close door' button until the contraption finally began to descend. He took out his phone and dialed Clint's number. (He had stolen all of the contact information from Tony's phone just in case.)

"Hello, this is Barton,"

"Clint, it's Loki,"

"What do you want?"

"Meet me on the 57th floor, bring Banner."

"You're here?"

Loki hung up the phone and waited until he was at the right floor, exited, and waited in the empty lobby.

Moments later Clint and Banner filed into the room with him.

"Everyone's down on the top floor."

"Steve?" Clint asked suddenly alarmed.

"He's alive, but badly wounded."

"Thor is healing, but Tony and Natasha…" he trailed off feeling nervous.

"Shit." Bruce spat clutching his fists. "I can't let the Other Guy out in a building. He'll tear this place apart."

"Then you go down and help the civilians," Clint ordered, "If we need you we'll call. But we can't have the Hulk-"

"Got it. See you on the ground floor," Bruce said already in the elevator going down.

Clint looked at Loki and scoffed, "I don't trust you."

"I'm not asking you to."

"Then why are you here?"

"Tony called me."

"You can leave now."

"I highly doubt your living probability goes up by me leaving,"

"It actually lessens it,"

"How so?"

"You're _human_."

"So are you."

"With a bow."

"And no more arrows."

Clint looked back at his case and found exactly what Loki had said. He had no more arrows left. He looked at Loki and grabbed his collar, "I don't know what you're up to. I don't give a flying fuck if Fury trusts you, _I _don't. You tried to enslave our entire planet and you want me to trust you after you say a few nice words? I don't fuckin' think so, pal."

"It's said on Asgard that foul language is only used by the unintelligent and poor. I didn't think of you to that standard."

"Bastard."

"Can we go now? I don't want to have our friends to die on us."

"_My_ friends, you mean."

"Let go."

Clint made their noses touch, "_Leave._"

"And you think you can handle this situation by yourself?"

"I know I can better than you ever will."

"I'm not giving Tony to your measly hands," Clint snarled. "Can we go already before they die?"

Clint didn't argue anymore. He let go of Loki and pressed the 'up' button until it dinged and the two formed inside.

The arrived at the top floor and Loki shoved Clint down waiting for an attack. It never came. "Rogers!" Clint exclaimed seeing the Captain out of the corner of his eye. He ran over to aide the man.

"Kill her," Steve said closing his eyes and breathing hard. "That woman. Kill her."

Clint peered through the gaping hole in the wall. He looked around for the woman he spoke of and found her sitting at a computer desk whizzing her fingers across the keyboard yet again. She looked easy enough to beat, but by the looks of everyone's status he guessed otherwise. Regardless of having no arrows, he could still use his bow as a lethal weapon.

Loki placed himself by the wall again and thought. He was excellent in hand-to-hand combat, but by the looks of it he'd have to take a different angle.

There was a ding, a click, and then a shuffle of feet. Barton looked through the wall again and saw the woman standing with a blank disk between her fingers. She held the Mjolnir tightly in her grasp as she made her way to the elevator.

"How is she able to wield the hammer?" Loki asked dumbstruck.

The woman came into the lobby and Clint jumped her. He pulled her hair, clawed at her skin, and pulled her down to the ground. She yelped in surprise and swung the hammer on Clint's exposed hand. It shattered the bones on contact and he let go screaming.

While the woman was still down, Loki kneed her in the face and grabbed the Mjolnir. It became heavy when he touched it and slammed to the ground. Not wanting to wield the weapon himself, he straddled the woman on the ground and grabbed her hands away from her body. He head butted her in the face and blood splattered out of her nose.

She snorted and licked her teeth with blood coating her tongue.

"Give up." He simply said.

"That's it? That's all you've got?" she asked.

Loki didn't know what to say other than, "Yes." She squirmed for a moment underneath him in struggle and then relaxed.

"It's been a while since a man of your size has straddled me like this," she grinned.

Feeling repelled to get off of her; he stayed there knowing she would strike back if he gave her the opportunity.

"Oh c'mon, baby-doll, you're frail and thin, you have no muscle yet you sit on me like an oaf." She was smiling now. She dug her nails into his hands and produced a few droplets of blood. Loki ignored this pain and heard the elevator moving.

Bruce came out, "I couldn't sit down there," he said walking over to Loki looking at the mess of his friends. He ignored his fear and went over to help stabilize the woman.


	11. Chapter 11

Natasha needed stitches, Clint had a cast, Thor and Bruce were fine, Steve was in a wheelchair, and Tony was in a coma.

Fury was immensely impressed with Loki and told him so. Loki felt proud but also felt responsible for Tony's condition. If he had taught him better he would have been able to fight amply and with the thought planted in his head that he could use powers, he stood up and was now in the condition because of it.

Steve found himself trusting Loki because of his help. Natasha, Thor, and Bruce were always alright with him, but adding another member to his little party didn't hurt.

The woman, on the other hand, was imprisoned in New York's prison chamber for Dangerous Criminals with Powers; AKA DCP. There were only about 3 others imprisoned there, but the guards were always on high alert.

Clint, on the otherhand, had completely found any reason to ignore Loki. Loki would talk more at dinner, played more games with them, even offered to go grocery shopping for them. With his little boost in confidence, he was really speaking out, but Clint didn't give a flying fuck about Loki, he still had the thought that he was evil and trying to manipulate everyone.

In the kitchen, Loki wore his pet store apron and was cooking a meal for the group. Thor came in hounding for a snack. "Get out, dinner's not ready." Loki snapped.

"I just want a snack," Thor begged.

"No. Out." He pointed his spoon to the living room where the others were joined.

"Loki, I want to talk to you about Tony,"

Loki froze, "Why?" he asked.

"Because a month has already passed he may not have much longer, brother, especially with his new given dilemma."

"He'll be fine." Loki said with a stern face.

"There's nothing you can do, Loki. You didn't know, there's nothing you can do now."

"There has to be something I can do,"

"You can wait."

"Wait for what?"

Thor got quiet. "I think of Tony Stark as being a great addition to my friends, I love him dearly as I do the rest of you, but when he dies, brother, they're not going to be happy knowing _how_ he died."

"He's _not_ going to die, Thor."

"The true sign if it's infected him that badly is if he breaks out in rash and starts coughing up blood. Remember to look for that sign." Loki nodded logging it into his mind. "When his face heals and his nose has stopped bleeding, keep him under constant surveillance. You'll know in about three day's time," he said finally leaving the kitchen.

Loki stood there frozen and began thinking. If using the powers enhances the killing then he'd have to make sure Tony wouldn't use them.

He went back to work and soon another week passed.

And another week.

Soon three weeks had passed and Loki grew nervous.

Fury came over the intercom, "Stark's awake."

That day everyone had been out of the building doing random things, but Loki was the one who was down there to see him wake up.

Tony stared at the ceiling for a moment as his eyes adjusted. He then scrunched them together feeling the pain in his face.

"Do you need some pain killers?" Loki asked.

"Yeah." His voice sounded lost, scratchy, and muffled. His nose had been battered in so bad he had to have plastic surgery on it to correct it; it was still in gauze. He tried moving his hands, but with his one broken arm he quickly stopped short.

"Stay still, it'll hurt less," Loki said as he called a nurse in. One came and gave him a strong pain killer and soon Tony's eyes began to swim.

"Much…better…" he mumbled.

"Tony, I want to talk to you about something." Loki said quietly. Tony looked over at him and sighed.

"Abou wa?" he asked obviously not coherent. Loki knew this and proceeded.

"I don't want you to use my powers anymore,"

Tony's eyes lulled for a moment, "Why not?"

"Because the more you use them the faster you die."

Tony smirked and chuckled, "Uh ya, I dunno bou dat,"

"Why's that?"

"Be…because yhour gewd. Yhew wouldn't do dat," he shook his head still chuckling as his fingers twitched.

"Tony, I'm serious."

Tony stopped smiling and looked at Loki, "This…is my surus face." He said and then burst out laughing quickly quieting himself as his face shot pain across his skin. "Ow ow ow"

"Be careful!" Loki said going up and pressing his cool hands gently on the sides of Tony's face. The coolness from his skin calmed the man down and he looked softly at Loki. "Just know…that I'm very sorry. I didn't know that you'd…"

"Don cry," Tony whispered his brows furrowing together. His good hand came up and around Loki's arm and brushed the tear away.

Loki bowed his head in shame and guilt, "Tony, I…" he bit his lip.

"You wha?"

Loki pushed Tony away and stood, "I'll talk to you when you're not like this."

"Loki!"

He stopped and turned around finding Tony's eyes frightened and worried, "Don't leave me." He said rather coherently.

"What do you fear of me leaving for?"

"Please, come here,"

"You were faking it, I suppose."

"Come here. _Please._"

Loki turned around and saw Tony who now had tears in his eyes. He walked over and sat back down in the chair. Tony held out his good hand and Loki took it shamefully.

"You came for us."

"I came for _you._" Loki looked up as his heart sped. "I came for you." He repeated bowing his head again.

"Why can't you look at me?"

"Because I can't look at a face that's going to die because of me."

Tony was quiet for a moment, "Let's not think about that. Loki, you-"

"I what?" Loki snapped tears falling from his eyes and onto his pants. He squeezed his hand that was grasped in Tony's.

There was a ruffled of sheets and Tony let got of Loki's hand. Loki looked up and Tony was inches from his face. You could see pain in his eyes, but Tony didn't care. There was a quiet moment between them before Tony pressed his lips against Loki's. It was soft and delicate, and then Tony couldn't hold his pain any longer and fell back against his bed.

"I don't care if you caused this, without this you wouldn't be sitting next to me. Without this…you wouldn't have saved us from that woman. Natasha and Steve might be dead without you," Tony looked up at Loki, "So please, don't for one second blame yourself on this. Alright?"

Loki looked down again.

"Promise me."

"I promise."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Hey everyone! I hope you're enjoying my story! ^^

Once Tony was let out of the hospital wing he just sat infront of the television flipping through channels. He really enjoyed cooking shows for the pure enjoyment of watching other people cook. He couldn't make cereal without breaking/spilling something, so he liked to watch others do it.

"Can we put in a movie?" Natasha asked holding up a DVD in her hands, "Just rented it. I think the group will like it," she smiled kindly.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Go ahead," Tony said handing her the remote. He still had his arm casted close to his chest and his nose and eyes were covered in gauze. "What movie is it?"

"300. Thor and Clint have been bugging to watch it."

"How does Thor know about it?" Tony rose a brow.

"Clint."

"Ah."

"So I'll gather the group if you want to put it in and start popcorn?"

"Yeah, sure," he said taking the DVD and getting up to put it in the DVD player. He waited for the screen to pop up on the TV, began playing the commercials, and went into the kitchen.

He'd never made popcorn before so he didn't know where it was kept. He looked through all of the cabinets until he found it, and reached. He couldn't quite get it, being a little on the shorter side, and he grunted as he stood on his tip toes. He couldn't reach it. He looked around for a stepping stool, couldn't find one, and resorted to just staring at the box for a moment.

"Need help?"

Tony turned around and saw Loki standing a couple feet behind him; Steve had entered the room too and took a place on the couch. "Yeah," he said feeling a scratch at the back of his throat.

Loki effortlessly grabbed the box and pulled out a packet and handed it to Tony, "Or should I make it?" he smiled.

Tony stuck his tongue out, "I don't want to burn the place down," he admitted. He felt a cough coming and covered his mouth with his elbow and relieved the scratch.

Loki dropped the packet staring at his elbow.

"What? Do I have snot coming out of my nose or something?" Tony wiped his face down and Loki bent down to pick up the bag. He set it on the counter and grabbed a paper towel.

"Everyone's here!" Natasha informed Tony and Loki.

Loki grabbed Tony's arm and wiped the blood from his inner elbow. "What…how did..?" Tony looked dumbfounded at the stain on his arm.

Loki proceeded to fold the paper towel over to a clean side and wiped Tony's mouth carefully. "Go brush your teeth." He whispered.

Tony looked at the paper towel and felt at a loss. He left the room quickly.

Loki made the popcorn and sat down next to Steve handing out a couple bowls for everyone to share.

"I am very excited to see the slashing of evil beings!" Thor boomed excitedly. "Is this story true?"

"No," Clint chuckled, "I mean, the story of the 300 soldiers going to war against an entire empire is true, but this whole thing with the…creepy guy with a lot of piercings, I don't think that's all real, but cool nonetheless."

"I very much agree." Thor smiled.

Tony returned and took his spot on the couch and the room settled in to watch the very long movie

The next day came and Loki was the first up. He quickly went to Thor's room and knocked. No answer. He opened the door anyways, closed it behind him, and saw his brother turn on his stand lamp. "What is it, brother?" he asked tiredly.

"He coughed up blood." His voice was so weakened it could have been mistaken or heartbreak.

Thor became very serious, "He doesn't have much longer then…" he whispered to himself. "Maybe I should visit home and ask father if there's any remedy,"

"Father will know it was my mistake and won't give you the cure. He may be old, but he is no fool."

Thor thought about this and nodded, "Then what do we do?"

Loki shook his head with a nervous smile prying at his lips, "I just…"

Thor got up and hugged his brother, "It'll be alright. We'll think of something."

"He told me to promise him that I wouldn't blame myself, but it is!" he wailed into Thor's chest. "I gave him a death sentence and now…and now…!"

"Brother," he pulled Loki away and wiped his tears, "I'll go to father."

Loki shook his head again, "There has to be another way. What if you going to Asgard takes too long, then what? If you get the answers it'll take you at least two weeks to convince father, by then he might be dead!"

"Then I must leave as soon as I can," Thor insisted.

"There has to be another way."

"What if there isn't? What if father is the only answer and we've wasted time searching for something that doesn't exist here on Earth?"

Loki knew this was true, but now that his brother, the only other person that had been willing to get close to him, was going to leave. Not for long, he knew that, but if Tony passed away during that time he didn't know what he'd do to himself.

"I'll leave in an hour," Thor said rushing over to his bed. He pulled a bag from underneath his bed and began piling clothing into it.

Loki didn't argue, he didn't know what else to do. He left his room and went into Tony's. He knocked and he heard Tony grumble signaling he was awake. He opened the door and looked at the bed. Tony was sitting up uncomfortably with his tablet sprawled across his lap. His writing had was broken so he had much difficulty moving things around with his good hand. "This damn eye patch pisses me off. How does Fury do it?" he grumbled.

Loki sat at the foot of his bed and just watched Tony for a minute. Tony felt his gaze and looked up.

"What's wrong?"

"I wasn't lying when I was talking to you in the hospital wing." He said bluntly and quietly.

Tony put his tablet aside and nodded, "I know."

"What happened before the movie…it…defined it."

"I figured."

Loki looked up, "Why aren't you mad at me?" he asked bewildered.

"Because I asked to sign the contract with you. I did it because I wanted to, not because you forced me. Free will."

"But you're going to die!" he exclaimed standing now.

Tony stared at him, "I know."

"How are you-"

"The thing in my chest has been killing me slowly since I put it in. I may have found a new element to stabilize it, but I only had another year or so on my clock anyways. I'm…prepared for it."

"But I'm not!"

"You killed hundreds of people months ago, did you not? What makes me so different?"

Tony had crossed the line, Loki looked at him crossly, "Because I care about you. Everything I touch turns on me or dies. That's how my life has been, Tony."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"But you did say it. And you know what?" he paused clapping his hands together, "It's alright." He was pissed. "I'm okay with that. You still think I'm a monster."

"Don't put words in my mouth that isn't true, Loki."

"Then what are you saying? _Enlighten me._"

Tony fumbled for words in his head and then said, "I love you."

Loki wasn't expecting that. His emotions twisted themselves in his stomach and he turned away with tears in his eyes, "Naturally. Just fantastic."

"I'm not asking you to return my feelings," Tony said honestly.

"That's the problem!" Loki whirled around yelling.

"What is?"

Loki sat very close to Tony and took a light hand under his chin, "My feelings. Everything I've ever loved has died."

Tony was quiet and looked away.

"I made you a promise that I wouldn't blame myself. Now I'm going to make you promise me something in return."

"Anything." Tony looked back at Loki.

"Please don't ever say you love me again."


	13. Chapter 13

Tony didn't know what to do. He watched Loki leave and felt his heart burn. His chest felt tight and his stomach felt queasy. He looked down at his tablet where the screen had dimmed from nonuse and felt his eyes sting. It only took him a minute to realize he'd been rejected _again. _

His entire life had been nothing but rejection and lies, why did he think things would be different?

So now he was dying, alone, and he wanted to leave. And that's exactly what he decided to do.

Natasha was always the first up. She usually went to work out or to the shooting range for some practice, but this morning she decided she'd watch some Discovery Channel.

Still in her pajamas, she heard a door close and looked at the kitchen clock. "5:36" the hands read. She then turned her attention down the hallway noticing Tony heading to the elevators. She shrugged and went back to watching her show.

Sometimes he never slept and would often go down to his lab and then eventually fall asleep there.

Loki tried to hold in his cry until he got to the roof, but upon his ascent the tears began to spill. He sniffled loudly, wiped his eyes, and tried to calm his breathing as the elevator made its journey up.

When he got to the top floor, he ran to the stairs and found his way to the roof. He went and sat next to the railing watching the stars begin to disappear as the sun threatened its rise.

He cupped his face and cried. He had just pushed the only person he'd ever loved out of his life, and on purpose. He didn't want to see him die, he didn't want to…

They were all selfish reasons. As far as Tony understood, Loki was the only one who knew he was going to die and Loki left him alone.

Tony hailed a cab and slowly got in careful not to injure his already broken arm or face.

"Where to?" the man asked in a thick accent.

"Airport,"

The driver was off and taking the familiar roads Tony knew too well. "Going on vacation?" he asked conversationally.

"Uh, yeah," Tony lied showing a fake smile.

"I wouldn't um," the driver's appearance did a sort of shiver and soon the ethnic man had long brunette hair and she turned to talk to him, "go on vacation with such injuries."

Tony's eye widened.

"It's been awhile, hasn't it?" the woman asked. "I'm shocked that Loki kept to his word."

"What word?" Tony asked quietly.

"To get you to me." He could hear her smile with those words. "We're not going to the airport, Mister Stark," she informed him locking the doors. Tony reached over with his good hand and pried at the lock; nothing. "My name is Wanda Maximoff, Mister Stark."

"Never heard of you."

"I didn't expect you to, which is why I was introducing myself," she chuckled and took a left at the intersection. "There's quite a big bounty for you, Mister Stark."

"Is that so?"

"Oh yes. I'm surprised you haven't asked about Loki,"

"What's to ask about?"

"Wasn't he a," she laughed, "'good guy'?"

Tony clutched his fist tight in his lap and felt his jaw tighten. "How far are we going?"

"Just a few more blocks," she said still smiling.

Tony looked out the window feeling stupid that he'd fallen into Loki's trap. It wasn't heartbreak anymore; it was pure, fuming betrayal.

They arrived at a warehouse and Wanda got out. She was wearing the same thing she had worn in the Empire State Building but her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Tony noted he had never seen hair that long before.

She unlocked his door and opened it taking his bag first, throwing it on the ground, then grabbed Tony's broken arm and pulled at him to exit. He yelled in pain until he was out of the cab and then bit his lip to cover his pain. She smiled at his reaction.

Wanda, leaving his bag there, pulled him into the building and went down to the basement. It was like those interrogation movies where they have the single spotlight with a chair beneath it. She sat him down at the chair and pulled both arms back to be tied down. He squinted his eye as he felt his bone start to re-break. She tied his legs to either side of the chair and then straddled him.

"I need you to look at me, Mister Stark," she grabbed his chin and pulled it close to hers. When he refused to open his eyes she slapped him hard across the face. Tony hadn't noticed she was wearing her brass knuckles and now felt new blood drip down his cheek. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "That's more like it," she grinned. "I want you to answer a few questions for me,"

He didn't say anything.

"After I saw something I demand a 'Yes ma'am' or 'No ma'am'." She snapped.

He didn't say anything.

She hit him again, this time on his bad eye and the gauze began to redden with blood. "Yes, ma'am." He whispered.

"As I understand, you've been in captivity before?" she asked.

Tony had repressed those memories, "Yes, ma'am,"

"What was it like?"

"Terrible." Blood gushed from under his blood gauze and down his other side of the cheek.

"But how terrible? Did you endure torture? Did you endure the loss of body parts? Did you endure…" she tapped on his Arc, "the removal of this?"

He got stiff, "No. Ma'am." He said between his teeth.

"What kind of captivity did you go through? Weren't you just required to build a bomb and that was it? You escaped alive, did you not?"

He didn't understand what she was getting at and didn't respond fast enough for her. She pinched his nose between her fingers and snapped it to the right re-breaking it completely.

Tony screamed and bent his head as even more blood fell down his face.

"Answer my question."

"Yes-" his voice broke with pain, "ma'am!"

"I'll make sure that doesn't happen this time." She got up and left the room leaving him alone.


	14. Chapter 14

Steve walked out of Tony's room looking bewildered, "Hey, Nat, have you seen Tony?" he asked Natasha who had showered, gotten ready for the day, and was now watching something on the History Channel.

"Way early this morning I saw him go into his lab," she looked at him.

"Oh, I didn't check there," Steve said going to the elevators. He went down to the bottom floor and went into the lab. He looked around and checked the bathroom, even. But no one was here.

He went backup to their floor and said, "He's not there,"

"Maybe he went out to run errands or something. Don't worry about it. Oh, ask Loki? Maybe he knows," she suggested.

Steve checked Loki's room and didn't find anyone. He also couldn't find Thor the more he looked around. Bruce and Clint had left a note in the kitchen that they went out to grocery shop, but nothing from the missing three.

The day turned to night and Loki finally came into the living room.

"Hey, where's Tony?" Steve asked leaning over the couch.

Loki looked at him confused, "He's not here?"

"Nope. Not in the lab, not in his room, and he won't pick up his phone." Steve reported.

"He's probably out with Pepper or something, leave the man be," Natasha sighed flipping to a different channel.

Loki felt his stomach sink. "Oh, well, I'm sure he'll show up soon," he faked a smile and sat down next to Bruce on the loveseat. Bruce was reading a science magazine and was mocking how dumb the people were. Clint had retired early; he said something about not being able to sleep the night before.

The next day came and there was still no Thor or Tony. "Well," Loki began, "Thor had to go back to Asgard. Father summoned him, he'll be back within a week," The group wasn't really that worried about Thor. He could snap a human in two if he wanted to with or without the hammer.

They called Pepper and she said she hadn't spoken with Tony in almost a week herself, so the group became worried.

"I think we should tell Fury," Clint said. "What if something happened to him? I mean, he only has one good arm and eye,"

_And a broken heart. _Loki thought to himself feeling incredibly guilty, but that was nothing in comparison to how he would feel the following day.

Tony was jolted awake with crusted blood down his front. His eyes were bloodshot from pain.

Wanda was straddling him again, "How're we this morning?" she asked.

Tony refused to answer.

She frowned and set her fingers delicately on Tony's Arc. "Let's see how you're feeling after this," she tinkered with it until she figured how to dismantle it and yanked it out. Tony gasped and his eyes bulged.

"They say you can live up to an hour after this is removed before the shrapnel hits your heart." She thought out loud spinning the device carefully in her hands. "How do you feel now?" she asked looking up.

Tony spit in her face.

Wanda jumped up wiping her face angrily. "You're going to wish you hadn't done that."

"I'm already dying." Tony snapped. "With or without the Arc I had about another two weeks left. You're doing me a favor."

Wanda snickered and left the room. She came back with a cell phone that looked oddly like Tony's. And it was. She had taken it out of his bag. "Ah, here it is: 'Stark Tower: Jarvis'. Does Jarvis broadcast video in the tower? Or just voice?"

"Stop!" Tony exclaimed.

"Or what?"

"What do you even want with me?" he screamed.

"That's not your concern," she said. "By the way, you're live in the Stark Tower."

Everyone in the living room stood still.

"_What do you even want with me?_" Tony's voice screamed.

"_That's not your concern,_" the woman said. "_By the-_" her voice continued on.

"Jarvis, trace the call!" Natasha bellowed.

"Yes, Madam," he echoed.

"_Let go of me!_" Tony struggled out as there was slight static over the phone.

"_Let's see what really makes you tick._" She said. Tony screamed.

"Jarvis, hurry up!" Natasha yelled.

"I have the location," Jarvis chimed, "I just sent the address to your phones."

"_By the way, Avengers,_" she said talking into the phone, "_You have about 20 minutes before his lock runs out._"

They were all running out of the Stark Tower before any other words over the phone could be said.

Tony flinched as Wanda maneuvered the knife in his shoulder that she had pinned in him moments ago. "Torture is different in every culture." She began explaining.

"Some use hot water, some just use words, some even use death, but all of those things are far…to easy. You see, you have to take things away." She began dragging the knife across his shoulder. Blood squirted and pooled in every direction and Tony's screams echoed violently in the basement. "Take away what they need." The knife went further down and the shoulder began to detach. Tony screamed so loud his voice broke octave and it became shrill.

"Too loud," she got up with the knife protruding from his half-severed arm and returned with a piece of cloth. She tied it across his mouth and fastened it at the back of his head. Tony began hyperventilating and his body shook vigorously. "They should hurry up. They're running out of time," she said looking at her watch. "I wonder. Will Loki show up?" she cocked her head watching his eyes roll to the back of his head. "No, don't pass out on me, not yet!" she slapped him on the side of the head and his eyes refocused on her. "What I want from you, Tony, is to bring the Avengers here. And you've done that. They're on their way. I'm going to slaughter them. And while I do that you'll already be dead with the Arc missing."

Tony's breathing became out of control and he was shaking so bad that Wanda stood up. He bent his head back and closed his eyes. Sweat and blood drenched his body.

"You've got about 5 more minutes. It shouldn't have taken them this long." She said looking at the door.

Only a moment later the door slammed open and Steve ran in with his shield up. Natasha was close behind him and they inched their way in. "Let him go!" Steve exclaimed.

Wanda smiled. She held up a remote that was hidden in her pocket and pressed the red button. Gun fire shot at the two. Natasha got struck in her leg and fell, Steve huddled over her with his shield and Clint dashed out from the door dodging all bullets. Firing arrow after arrow he ran closer and closer.

Wanda dropped the remote and began her 'glass attack'. Clint was hit multiple times, blood spurting from his wounds, but he kept on. He fought with his bow and when he got close enough, he pulled an arrow out and stabbed it in her chest. "You don't _fuck_ with my friends." He said growling as she slumped to the floor.

Bruce, not hulked out, ran into the room and dashed over to Tony who was shaking and breathing uncontrollably. "Holy fuck," he said looking at Tony's almost detached arm. He pulled out his phone and called an ambulance as he picked up the Arc from the floor, put the phone on his shoulder, and plugged it back into Tony's chest.


	15. Chapter 15

He laid there silently. He didn't speak for weeks. He refused to leave the hospital wing and to answer his phone. He took no visitors and just laid there.

His right arm was beyond repaid and had to be amputated. Jarvis was working on creating a robotic arm for him with Shield, but Tony refused to wear it. He just shook his head 'no'. With both arms being immobile – one was only six weeks away from usage – he quarantined himself. He knew he had only a couple weeks left, might as well spend them alone.

Clint tried visiting but Tony got so angry that he tried getting out of bed to shove him out of the room.

He did, however, let Natasha read to him. They wouldn't talk about anything, she would just bring in random books and read. She's also talk about the weather, the stocks, and anything to keep him distracted that didn't involve the other Avengers, Loki, or what happened.

Steve would come in when Tony was asleep and would set a new batch of flowers by his bed almost every night and leave fun messages up on the dry-erase board. One time he drew Tony in a top hat and Tony liked it. He smiled at it and refused to have it taken down for a few days.

Fury said he was still in shock and would probably be traumatized by this for the rest of his life, and no one blamed him.

Soon, a week had gone by and Natasha was reading short snippets from "How to Kill A Mockingbird" to him. Loki knocked on the door and Tony's eye shrunk in.

Natasha noticed Tony's reaction and looked back at Loki, "I don't think he wants to see you," she whispered trying not to hurt his feelings.

"I know, but…I really need to talk to him." Loki fiddled with his hands. Thor came around and stood next to his brother with a very weak smile.

"Hello Tony," he waved.

Tony's eyes lightened by the sight of his friend.

"Thor, you're back!" Natasha jumped up excitedly. She went over and they embraced for a moment.

"Can we please talk?" Loki asked Tony. He hesitantly nodded. Natasha left and Thor closed the door. The two sat down and there was silence.

"Father says there's no cure." Thor stated quite bluntly. Tony nodded and looked away. "I'm sorry…"

Tony sighed, "I've always wondered," he began after not speaking for a week. "what Heaven was like. Or Hell. I never believed in them until recently." A tear fell down his cheek. "You know, I've never thought in a million years that it would end like this. I thought, 'yeah sure, the Arc's going to kill me', and I was okay with that, but I'm _not_ okay with this." He turned to the two. "I guess maybe in reality I was never prepared for death to begin with. One thing, though," he bit his bottom lip, "it may sound incredibly selfish, but…" he chuckled a fake laugh, "Not once in my life had anyone ever confessed that they loved me." More tears fell. "Not once in my thirty some years of life. Nor have I ever cooked anything properly, I've never ridden a motorcycle, I've never even ridden a roller coaster, for fuck's sake. My entire life was revolving around things that I wanted to do to impress my dad, and everyone thought I was doing it for myself. The Iron Man suit wasn't for me, it was to prove to my dad that I could be the hero for once. And," he swallowed hard, "There's only been two people I've ever loved my entire life that I'd give my life for. But after last week, it's now just one. Though he's already dead, I would risk everything for my father. But," he looked at Thor and then to Loki, "I learned to trust to easily."

"Tony, I think you should rest," Thor stated. "You look very tired and wore. Perhaps we should leave you be."

"Whatever," he said not able to wipe his tears.

"Thor, will you leave?" Loki asked quietly.

"I will _not_ be stuck in this room alone with you. I refuse." Tony spat.

"I know I've hurt you, but I need to reevaluate-"

"You sold us out! You sold me out to that wretched woman!" Tony yelled. "I lost my arm because of you!"

"What are you _talking_ about?" Loki yelled back.

"Wanda, she said you planned what happened!"

"Why would I do that?"

Tony narrowed his eye, "Get out."

Thor didn't hesitate. He stood and quietly left. Loki, however stayed put.

"_GET OUT!_" Tony screamed.

"No."

"You told me not to tell you I loved you, you pushed me away, and gave me your powers, ALL FOR HER!"

"NO!"

"You're a backstabbing little fucker, you're a liar and a cheat! You've _always_ been like that! Why was I so stupid to believe you?"

"I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER!"

"When we were at the Empire State, you were the _only_ one who brought her down! You were the only one who was able to not get any sort of scratch from her! You've been planning this since the beginning!"

"TONY, SHUT UP!" Loki had his fists clutched at his sides. "I gave you my powers because I think you and I are alike, I pushed you away because I don't know how to respond to affection! I did those things for _my_ selfish purposes, not for that woman's! She's twisted my actions and now you believe someone who cut off your arm! You said you loved me, I never said I didn't love you back!"

"It doesn't matter anymore, Loki."

"Why not? Because you believe someone who actually tried to kill you over me?"

Tony was quiet.

"I have never loved a human as much as I love you, Anthony Stark, but now it doesn't matter. You have things fucked up in your mind and you're traumatized from the warehouse. There's _nothing I can do. _Not anymore. You've convinced yourself I'm the bad guy and that I've always been the fucking bad guy. You're going to die in a week and you're going to make me-" he choked on his words as emotion finally struck him, "You're making me think I really did-" he couldn't finish and covered his face. "_IT'S NOT FAIR!_" he cried out. "It's fucking not fair!" he stuttered looking up at Tony, "I love you. I love you so fucking much and you're making me think I did kill you, and that's not fair." He bowed his head holding back his sobs. "But if making me out to be the bad guy makes you sleep better at night, then…"

"Just get out."

Loki looked up incredibly hurt.

Tony had tears streaking his face and his mouth quivered with emotion making him unable to speak any longer.

Loki bent his head down and whispered, "I love you."

"Get…out…" Tony managed his voice shaking.

"Please accept my apology. _Please._"

Tony shook his head his mouth forming downwards as he cried.

"I'm begging you…" Loki whispered. "_Please._"

Tony shook and wished he could cover his face. "Please…leave…"

Loki felt a sob break through his mouth and he turned around heading for the door.


	16. Chapter 16

Natasha was the only one allowed to see him after that. Fury wouldn't let anyone else upset Tony, so he limited it to Natasha.

"I want you to write something for me," Tony whispered.

Natasha looked up from the book she was reading out loud and cocked her head to the side. "Alright," she looked around and found some scratch paper and a pen. "Go for it,"

He bit his lip, "Everything I say I want you to put into the letter."

Natasha nodded finding a hard surface to write on. "Ready,"

He cleared his throat and looked down at his sheets, "Loki," he began feeling his chest hurt, "Please don't blame yourself for what happened or happens. Please don't ever think it was your fault. I would say this in person, but it's probably already to late,"

Natasha looked up from the letter and stared at him. "Tony-"

"But I want you to know," Natasha continued to write, "that I do forgive you. I will always forgive you because you understood me. Please don't do anything rash while I'm gone, and make sure you take care of your brother. He loves you a lot, and I think you should return his affection. Don't be bothered by Clint, he's always rude and intrusive. Keep Bruce company, he likes it when you ask questions about your theories. Steve may not be fond of you, but he likes your cooking, so continue making dinner for everyone. And have Natasha read for you sometime, she's incredible. As for me," he paused, "meet someone new. I'm sure there's another someone out there for you that doesn't have death riding on their shoulders."

"Tony, you're not dying." Natasha said shortly and Tony only frowned.

"Can you give that to Loki tomorrow?"

Natasha looked startled, "Tomorrow? Why tomorrow? You're not going to die! You just have…disabilities!" she fumbled for words and crumpled the letter up and threw it away. "I'm not giving him that letter because you're not _dying_. You're just wounded,"

Tony looked crushed when she threw the letter away. His chest suddenly burned and his nose felt runny. He took deep breathes and waited for it to pass.

"Tony, what's all this about? Really?" she asked calmly.

"Please just give him the letter."

"No."

Tony half smiled and looked down again.

The night soon came and Tony stared at the ceiling in his wing. There was a knock on his door and he looked at the clock "1:54AM" it read and then he looked to see who it was.

"I don't want to talk to you." Tony stated as Loki came in. He was in his pajamas and his hair had been pulled back in a small ponytail.

"Natasha told me about the letter."

Tony looked away.

"You have to promise me something," Loki said. Tony snickered. "I'm serious."

"What is it?"

"You save me a spot up there." Tony looked at Loki who's nose had turned bright red and his eyes glistened. "Obviously there's nothing I can do here," he sighed trying to control his tears.

Tony began moving himself so he was on half of the bed, "Come here." He said and Loki stood. "I want you to sleep with me tonight." He said. Loki didn't hesitate and crawled in the too-tiny hospital bed with Tony. He wrapped one arm around his head and leaned against him.

"What're you thinking?"

"I'll get to see dad," he whispered.

Loki nodded, "What do you want to say to him?"

Tony thought about it, "Nothing."

"I see,"

"I think I'd want to scold him for my upbringing, maybe," he said.

"What else do you want to do?"

"I'd like to ride a roller coaster." He smiled, "And go on the Tea Cups until I hurl," he laughed and Loki joined him.

There was a rapid, sharp pain in the Arc and it sparked a little. Tony inhaled as he tasted blood in his mouth. He swallowed hard as his body began to shake. He closed his eye trying to calm himself down.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" Loki asked.

"Just stay here," Tony said between red, clenched teeth. Loki nodded.

"What foods are you going to eat?" Loki asked.

"Potatoes." He smiled.

"Why potatoes?"

"They're my favorite food,"

"What about drink?"

"I won't have anything to drink. I don't want to become an alcoholic up there, too,"

"What do you want me to tell the others?"

"About what?"

Loki thought that was a stupid question, but from the shaking Tony's body was doing he was guessing he couldn't think straight. "What do you want me to tell them about your…situation."

"Make Clint and Steve keep the powers thing a secret. Tell them it was the Arc,"

"Alright."

"And Loki?"

"Yes, Anthony?"

"I'll always save you a spot."

"I love you, Tony."

"I love you, too."


	17. Chapter 17

He woke up cold and looked to his left. Loki was sleeping on his shoulder with his cool skin against his shoulder. He'd forgotten how frigid Loki's skin was, and he looked down wishing he could pull the blanket up. He laid his head back feeling his chest burn and his breath become short.

"Loki…" he whispered. He wiggled in his spot until the man next to him woke up.

"You alright? Do you need something?" his voice was groggy but alert with concern.

"Blanket. I'm cold," he mumbled.

Loki smiled and pulled it up making Tony warm. He grinned as he closed his eyes wishing the pain in his chest to go away.

"Do you need anything else?"

"No," he sighed anxiously. Loki stared at him and Tony could feel it, "What?"

"It's 6am, you made the night," there was a small trace of hope in his voice.

Tony nodded, "So it would seem." He replied.

A week went on like that. Loki occasionally went out to eat with the other Avengers, but he mostly stayed in Tony's room. Natasha would read to the two of them and Loki agreed she was the best reader ever. She got into character and would even use poor accents on them if needed.

Steve and Thor would often visit with Steve's flowers and Thor's loud tales of stuff he and Loki used to do as kids in Asgard. Steve would just sit, listen, and smile, and some times draw new pictures on the dry-erase board.

Bruce would come in and entertain Tony at night with sciency things and Loki would just sleep then.

Clint still wasn't allowed in.

Two more weeks passed and Tony was able to remove the eye patch. He said it was still blurry out of it, but the nurse reassured him it was still healing, but light was okay for it now. He didn't argue.

Natasha had finished reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone and Loki was completely entranced by it. He demanded her to read the second one and Tony gave no objection. He'd never read them himself; he said they were too childish for him, but Natasha reassured there would be deaths after the third book, so he let her read.

Steve was running out of different flowers to bring so he began sketching new comics of the Avengers in different scenarios. He would hand them to Loki so the two could share the bed and look over Steve's creation. They laughed at them and began taping them on the walls.

Thor and Loki began arguing over who's stories were true and Tony just smiled.

Clint was now allowed to sit outside the room. And he did. He'd bring a book or a newspaper and sit out there on a chair. Natasha would inform Tony that he just wanted to make sure he was okay, and being able to sit outside the room and peer in every-now-and-then comforted him better.

Another week later, upon Tony's not being dead yet, Thor decided to go back to Asgard to ask again if there was any way to cure him.

"I don't think he's going to change his mind if he said there wasn't any to being with," Tony stated as Thor stood before him – Loki had gone out to eat with Natasha and Steve. Clint was sitting outside the door.

"I would like to take the chance that maybe something had come up," Thor stated, "The Allfather said he would indeed continue looking so maybe the solution has arisen."

Tony sighed, "I'm not going to stop you."

Thor smiled, "It is a great pleasure in assisting you, Tony,"

"I know,"

"I'll leave tonight." And with that Thor left and Clint watched him leave. Clint stood and knocked on the door.

Tony shook his head and he could see Clint sigh, rub his forehead and sit back down.

"Jarvis, can you get me something to eat. I'm starving," Tony chimed.

"Yes, sir," Jarvis replied.

Minutes later a nurse came in with a tray and Tony looked at it, "Here you are, Mister Stark," she said pulling up the small pull-away tray and set the food on it. "Jarvis informed me you like potatoes, corn, and chicken?"

Tony smirked, "Yeah, thanks," he said and then frowned.

"I'll help you," she said smiling as she sat down in the nearest chair.

Tony was getting tired of being fed, he didn't mind when Loki did it because he would make airplane noises and such to make it fun, but this was a _nurse_. He hated hospital folk. "You know, I can wait," he stated quietly.

"You didn't eat your breakfast; I would like you to eat,"

"I'll wait until Loki gets back," he stated and the nurse frowned a little.

"I'll leave it in the kitchen until you're ready," she said and got up and left.

Tony had fallen asleep shortly after the nurse left. He felt his bed move and woke up with Loki at his side.

"Didn't mean to wake you," he said.

"It's fine," he said.

"The nurse said you didn't eat because you were waiting for me?" he asked.

"Yeah,"

"You like my train and airplane noises, don't you?"

Tony laughed, "I actually do,"

Loki laughed and got off the bed, "I'll go get your food," he stated leaving while Clint watched him down the hallway.

Thor said good-bye and was off to Asgard again. A few days passed and Natasha had gotten into Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Loki was laying patiently next to Tony with the covers up high.

Steve had begun to join them and Loki would fill in on important details as they came across new information in the second novel.

Bruce had left to Uruguay on a small mission for Fury about some gamma radiation signatures they picked up, so he would be gone for a week or so.

Clint was actually laying on the floor now, he refused to get up until Tony let him in, and it just wouldn't happen.

Loki watched Tony close his eyes as he usually did when Natasha was reading and then concentrated back on the story.

Tony woke up in the middle of a long, descriptive paragraph of some town Harry was now in and looked at Steve. He was in pajama gear and was cross-legged on his chair.

Loki was laying back in his bed with him staring at the ceiling trying to imagine what these things would look like.

He glanced at the clock over Loki's chest and it read, "12:34AM". "Why are you still reading? It's late," Tony asked.

Natasha put a finger on where she was reading and looked up, "They wanted me to continue, and I'm usually up late anyways, so I don't mind," she smiled.

Tony nodded letting her continue as his eye finally began to focus on stuff. His broken arm felt itchy and he took this as a positive sign. Maybe in a couple weeks he'd be able to free his arm.

Loki looked over at Tony and whispered, "We can leave, you know,"

"Nah, go ahead. I'm listening now," Tony smirked.

Tony jolted forwards from a nightmare screaming. He was drenched in sweat and his arms ached from his rapid movement. He bent his head down taking deep breaths and felt a comforting hand on his back.

"Are you alright?" Loki asked in the dark room.

"Y-yeah," he shuddered at the memories from the dream. "Just a nightmare. That's all." He sounded panicked.

Loki came up and cooed him until the two laid back down. Tony closed his eyes trying to forget the dream. But he became overwhelmed and suddenly began to cry.

"W-why are you crying?" Loki asked surprised, "It was only a dream," he tried reassuring him.

Tony shook his head, "I'm a fuck-up." He simply stated.

"Where is this coming from? Was it in your dream?" Loki asked patting Tony's chest lightly.

"I wish I would just die already." He growled in his sob.

Loki stared at him for a moment feeling dumbfounded, "Why would you say that?" he asked quietly.

"I just…_fuck_." He cried.

"Calm down, calm down," Loki didn't want to sound too panicked. "You're not a fuck-up, Tony,"

"What…what superhero has one arm and is defective in everyway possible?" Tony mumbled out. "I can't use the suit anymore and I'm…God fucking dammit!"

"I know you're hurting, Tony, but please don't say you wish you'd die…" Loki's heart felt weak.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do with my life now?" his cries became heavy.

"You live, Tony, that's what you do."

"For what? So I can watch my friends do all the work while I stay at home reading books and watching TV?"

"You can still work,"

"Not with _one arm_."

"Just don't say you want to die. Please." Loki was begging.

"_Why_?" he was almost in inaudible sobbing now.

"Because _I_ want you to live." Loki stated. "And so does Natasha, Clint, Thor, Brue, and Steve. We all want you here, with one arm or two; you're _our_ Tony Stark and you'll never chan-"

"But I'm not Tony Stark if I can't be Iron Man! I'm done! Finite! Gone! There is no more Iron Man legacy, there is no more awesome things I can create, because _I need two arms for that_."

"Will you listen to me?" Loki exclaimed. "Bruce was working on that robotic arm for you and you said 'no', that was your fault. I'm sure he'll continue working on it if you ask him. You just had a bad dream and now you're sulking. You'll just have to give Iron Man a break and work on getting healthy. My brother was obviously wrong with his teachings about the power transfer dying thing, so all we have to worry about is getting you healthy. Once you get that arm cast off, we can start working on that robotic arm and getting you back in that suit. But, Tony, I know you're not good with patients, but you have to be patient with this." Tony was quiet, Loki knew he had gotten his attention, "Your arm should be healed in a couple of weeks, your eyes is already better, and your nose should be fine next week. Yeah, you're one arm less, but with the technology that you and Bruce are so good at, I'm sure you can make something work."

"I want it now."

Loki smirked, "I know, but you can't have it now. We'll get out of this room, if you want, and watch movies with Thor and Steve. I'll cook you dinner and feed you like you like, and Natasha can hide out in your bedroom and read to us all day if you want. I think being in here is driving you nuts,"

"You've gotten good with slang," Tony admitted.

"I have good teachers." His smiled widened.

"But don't you think getting out of this hospital room will serve you better?"

"What about Clint?"

"What about him?"

"I don't want him near me."

"Why? Because he cares?"

"Exactly."

"You realize that makes no sense whatsoever."

"I have my reasons."

"Oh, stop it."

"No. He hurt my feelings."

"_That's_ what this is about? Your _feelings_?" Loki asked raising a brow.

Tony sniffled, "Yes." Loki laughed. "It's not funny!" Loki began laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach.


	18. Chapter 18

Clint was told to keep his distance and not to talk to Tony unless asked to. He could sit in the same room as him – except his bedroom of course – but wasn't allowed to address him.

Steve had been working on a rather large painting while Tony was in the hospital wing; he said it was very abstract art that he'd been learning about and wanted to try it out and proclaimed he needed a big canvas for it. Moral of the story, he was tucked away in his room until Natasha announced she would read more Harry Potter.

Bruce hadn't found anything regarding the gamma radiation in Uruguay so he was headed back in the next few days and Loki wanted to have a big dinner with everyone once Thor got back to celebrate Tony's discharge from the hospital wing.

Natasha was now reading in the living room and was almost finished with it. Steve, Loki, Tony, and Clint (who was in his own chair) were patiently listening to the story. Clint had read the books as a child so he knew the stories well, he even went and saw the movies and told the three that there were such DVD's that existed. Tony knew that already, but the book was so much fun to listen to that he insisted reading the series first, so the others went along with it.

Tony had positioned himself on the couch so his legs were propped up on Loki's lap and his torso was resting against the armrest of the couch. Loki played with the folds in Tony's pants as he listened and occasionally would look over to check on how Tony was doing.

It was almost 2am when Natasha finished the Chamber of Secrets and Steve threw his hands in his lap excitedly, "I love this series! It's so ingenious!"

"I have to agree; the use of magic with 'wands' is most intriguing." Loki said. "Do you have the third one?" he asked.

"No, I'll have to go buy it tomorrow," Natasha said getting up and stretching.

"You've gotten good at a British accent," Tony snickered. "The first book you were terrible at."

"Well thanks," she said leaving the living room. "See you boys in the morning," she waved the back of her hand as she retired to her room.

Tony didn't get out of bed the next day. He lay on his back with his eyes closed in the dark of his room. Yesterday was nice getting out of the hospital wing, but he had gotten used to his 'alone-with-my-bed-time' and began missing it. So he laid there thinking about all the things he'd screwed up and how things were his fault.

Steve knocked on the door and Tony let him in. He carried a new comic drawing and a cup of water for him. "Though you might want some company," he said smiling.

"How's your painting coming along?" Tony asked watching Steve sit down on his desk chair.

"I think I'm going to give up, I don't think I like abstract art," he smiled.

"I didn't think you were an abstract kinda guy,"

"Yeah, wanted to give it a try though. I think I'll stick with cartoons and such, they suit me better," he said.

"I agree, now let me see your newest addition," Tony said wanting to reach out to grab it. Tony moved over next to Tony's bed, turned on the lamp, and showed him the small comic. Tony laughed at it. "Will you hang it with the others?" he asked nodding over to his desk. Every drawing that Steve had ever made him hung neatly on the wall. Steve felt honored and appreciated as he hung up his newest piece.

"Are you alright?" Steve asked seriously.

"Peachy,"

"I'm serious, Tony,"

"So am I. I stuffed a peach under my shirt earlier and it's starting to itch," he said.

"How did you get a-"

"I asked Loki to put it there because pressure on my stomach makes the pain in my arms go away. The only thing he could find that wouldn't crush me was a peach."

"So weird." Steve said going over and noticed the bump over Tony's belly button. He really was serious. He removed the peach and Tony wiggled getting comfortable again. "Shouldn't you keep it there if it's making you feel better?"

"The effect wears off after about two hours or so, then the pain comes back."

"I think you're nuts,"

"Me too."

They both smiled.

"But really, Tony,"

Tony frowned, "Just thinking too much for my own good,"

"Why don't you come out and watch a movie? Nat went to Barnes and Nobles to get the next couple Harry Potter's."

"I don't really want to be around a group of people right now,"

"Alright, alright," Steve didn't push further. "Anything I can get you?"

"Help me drink that glass of water and you'll be my favorite person," Steve did just that. He went over, pulled out a magic bendy straw from his pocket, and helped Tony sit up and drink.

Bruce came home late that night, at around 2am, and dumped his stuff on the couch and stretched. He looked around at the plate of food Loki left out for him and walked over to the plate. He put it in the microwave, heated it up, and sat down on the couch and began eating. How Loki knew his favorite dish was spaghetti was beyond him, but he knew everyone's favorite meal. He wasn't about to complain about it either, Loki was a marvelous cook.

About half way through his dish he heard a door open and close down the hallway and he looked curiously.

He didn't see anyone and shrugged continuing to eat.

"Hey, welcome home,"

Bruce looked up and saw Tony standing in the hallway. The energy and effort it must have taken to get up and maneuver his door must have been difficult.

"Hey," Bruce said wiping his mouth clean with a napkin. "What're you doing up?"

"Can't sleep. How was the trip?" he asked still staying in his spot.

"Good. Exhausting. Glad to be back,"

"Awesome. Well, I'll see you later in the morning," he stated leaving the hallway. Bruce could hear Tony use his foot to press the elevator button and smirked at his innovation.

Tony got down to the hospital wing and was happy all of the doors were body-censored. He found his way to his old room and used his foot again to press the 'open door' button. It did as told and Tony scooted himself up on the bed. He shoved and kicked the covers underneath him and used his teeth the pull the sheets up.

"Jarvis, cut the lights,"

"Yes, sir,"

He closed his eyes feeling safe. For some reason all the weeks he'd spent in here grew on him. He wasn't the type of person to be sentimental or nostalgic about things, but he knew feeling safe and comfortable was the first thing he wanted to do. Being in this bed made him feel at home and he was happy to finally feel himself drift off to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: OMG okay. Hi everyone! xD Thank you so much for your support and reading the story. I'm new to so I don't know if I can respond to your reviews, but I really love them! I'm sorry I'm making you guys cry (I'm not really) but please look forward to my next chapters! ^^

Loki was up early and decided to sneak in bed with Tony. He snuck in and found an empty bed. He frowned upon his finding and searched the floor for him. He looked at Bruce who was passed out on the couch and then down towards the elevator.

He checked the prison cell, the main floor, and finally the hospital wing and found Tony sleeping heavily on his old bed. He wondered why he was sleeping down here but didn't object. If this made Tony happy then he'd let him sleep here whenever. He sat down in the chair and found himself nodding off.

Natasha had gone out and bought the third through fifth installments of Harry Potter. She got a big thing of coffee from Starbucks for everyone, and even picked up donuts she knew Tony would appreciate.

She went into the Stark Tower arms full, and was greeted by Bruce who was headed down to the lab. "Need help?" he asked rushing over to her.

"Thanks," she said as he took the thing of coffee and donuts.

"They really like those books, huh?"

"Yeah. Loki and Steve especially,"

"What about Thor?"

"He'll listen but he doesn't say anything about them," she shrugged as she pressed the 'up' button on the elevator.

They went up to their floor, Bruce set the things on the kitchen counter and then left back down to his lab. Natasha saw that Steve and Clint were watching TV. "I bought donuts," she announced and the two didn't say anything as they got up and headed for the food.

"Did you get the books?" Steve asked. Natasha nodded and he smiled.

"Where're the other two?" she asked.

Clint shrugged. "I heard Loki walking around early this morning," he picked a pink-frosted donut and began licking the sprinkles off.

"You're not supposed to lick them off," Steve scolded.

"I do what I want," Clint smirked continuing his weird habit.

"Stop. Just stop, it's so gross to watch you lick them like that,"

"Then look away! Or do you wish I would do that to-"

"Alright, I'm going to look for them." Natasha said leaving.

Steve smacked Clint's head, "Not in front of the others,"

"You like it and you know it,"

"You know that I do, but not around others," Steve snapped.

"Lick the donut. It's fun."

"I'm not licking the donut,"

"Lick it,"

"No."

"Lick it!"

"No!"

"Please?"

"Why do you want me to lick it? What's the point of getting the best part off of the donut with the gross part last?"

"Because it's fun, now do it."

Steve eyed Clint but licked it nonetheless.

Natasha found herself down in the hospital wing and looked in on a talking Loki and Tony.

"I got the books, donuts, and coffee," she said into the room.

"Oh, I want donuts," Tony stated lightly. "Help me up," he mumbled to Loki who didn't hesitate to help.

They made their way to the elevators and Tony asked, "How's your chest, Nat?"

She thought about it and pressed a light hand against her chest, "Almost fully healed. Not big deal though," she said smiling to him.

They got up to the kitchen and Loki grabbed a donut and began tearing pieces apart for Tony to eat. "No, no, I want a glazed one," Tony complained.

"Fine, fine," Loki said stuffing the torn donut into his own mouth. He tore the new donut and made a buzzing noise to indicate an airplane and Tony would always laugh as it was shoved into his mouth.

Thor returned that evening with no new news. "Father says he is looking, but-"

"It's alright, Thor." Tony said smiling, "Thanks for trying, anyways,"

"It's always a pleasure to help a friend,"

Loki rushed to the kitchen as soon as Thor appeared and whipped out the pots and pans and began cooking like a madman. Natasha began reading in the living room and everyone, apart from Loki who was cooking – thought he was listening intently – gathered to listen. Tony even sat himself next to Clint who had to hold himself from fangirly that Tony was actually allowing himself to be near him.

Once Loki had dinner cooked for everyone they all grabbed plates and sat around the living room laughing and listened to Thor tell his tales about his visits to Asgard. Loki helped feed Tony – he didn't make any noises – and all was well that evening.

For now.


	20. Chapter 20

It had begun to storm and rain thrashed down like it had so many months ago. Tony sat on the couch alone in the living room while the others tended to a massive bank robbing downtown. He looked at the rain wondering what was happening.

Loki told him to keep his phone on him just in case something happened as Fury wasn't available, but Tony realized he was the _last_ resort as someone to help them. Arms still disabled, he sat with the television on low volume watching the rain pour.

"Jarvis, can you turn the TV to cartoons or something entertaining, please. This discovery shit is driving me nuts," he called.

"Of course, sir," Jarvis replied as the television channel changed to Boomerang where old reruns of Tom and Jerry were playing.

He didn't want to think about the fact that he'd been left out because of his wounds, he felt he was left out because he was useless and couldn't do anything to help. And it was true that he couldn't do anything because his arms were disabled at the moment, but he felt, no matter what any of them said, he was annoying them. Bothering them. Pestering. Annoying. In the way. And then the worst thought, 'baggage'.

Tony cringed at his thoughts as they began defeating him.

"Sir, Miss Potts is on the phone for you," Jarvis interrupted him.

"Answer," he called and there was a clicking noise as the line connected, "Hello?" he answered.

"_Hey Tony, Happy and I wanted to stop by and say hi._"

"They told you I was alone, didn't they?"

"_I haven't seen you in a while, so we thought-_"

"Even through the phone I can tell when you're lying."

"_Fine! Natasha called and asked for us to visit._"

"Yeah, come up, I'm just watching cartoons."

"_But you hate TV_."

"Does it look like I can do anything else?"

"_Well I can't see you, so no. We'll be there shortly_," and they hung up.

Pepper arrived hair half drenched with Happy right behind her. "Hey!" she exclaimed lightly and carefully hugging Tony. This was the first time she'd seen him in months, and she hadn't yet personally witnessed his only one arm. She was quiet as she looked down and her smile faltered for only a minute before she directed her line of sight back at his face. "We brought you some of your favorite wine," she said taking the gingerly wrapped bottle from Happy.

"How was the honeymoon?" he asked as Pepper set the bottle on the kitchen counter.

"Lovely! Maui is just breathtaking,"

"You know I own three resorts there,"

"Which is mostly why we could afford it,"

"Ah," Tony smiled nodding. "You didn't tell me you went to Hawaii,"

"Yeah," Happy chimed in, "Last minute decision. We were going to take a small trip to northern Europe, but Hawaii was less taxing and more relaxing. Excuse the rhyme,"

"Well I'm glad you enjoyed it. Best service ever?" Tony asked.

"Ever." Pepper replied.

"Good," Tony said, "Can't have my favorite girl getting less than perfect service,"

Pepper rolled her eyes, "If I was your favorite girl you would have invited me over on your last birthday,"

"I did. But I forgot."

"That makes no sense,"

"I've been getting that a lot lately," Tony said going to sit back down on the couch.

"When do you get the cast off your nose?" Happy asked.

"Tomorrow, I think. The nurse was going to check on it before I go to sleep tonight, so we'll see,"

"I'm glad you're doing better," Pepper said genuinely.

"'Better' is too farfetched," Pepper gave him a quizzical look and Tony chuckled, "Nothing," he whispered.

"What's wrong? I know that look,"

"I said it was nothing," Tony said continuing to smile.

"I know you feel left out because the Avengers are off doing whatever, but you can't sulk about it. You have to think realistically about your situation,"

"I know," he said honestly, "But having one arm completely gone and the other immobile for another two weeks kind of makes it more…thick."

"I don't understand,"

"Nevermind. Want to watch a movie or something?" he asked.

"Sure," Happy came over. "What do you want to watch?"

Tony had fallen asleep on the couch and Pepper and Happy decided to wait until the Avengers got back to leave him alone, but as work called they left a little early. Tony woke up alone and his first initial thought was, 'They left because I'm broken'. But he knew that was irrational.

He had never thought these things about himself before, but with everything that had happened he was beginning to wonder if these thoughts were always there and he just ignored them or what.

"Sir, Mister Loki is calling,"

"Answer," the click, "Hey,"

"_Hi, we just finished so we'll be back pretty soon, alright? We're bringing Shwarma_," he said with a smile to his voice.

Tony didn't smile, "Okay, see you soon,"

"_You okay?" _

"Dandy,"

Loki was quiet for a moment and Tony could hear Thor boasting about something or another to Clint who was retorting his false information, "_See you soon,_" and he hung up.

Tony frowned as his thoughts grew quicker and harsher.

They don't want to see you.

They're going to avoid you.

You're worthless.

Wanda did you a favor by losing your arm.

It was just waiting to happen.

They really despise you.

Loki doesn't really love you.

The last one made his heart sink. _Doesn't really love you_. It echoed in his head and he grew angry. He knew it wasn't true, but…

He says he loves you to make you feel better. To feel _accepted_.

He squinted his eyes closed and shoved his face into the side of the couch. "SHUT UP!" he screamed.

They're _lying_.

You're _worthless._

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP!"

"…Tony?"

He looked up at Loki and Clint who were first to get off of the elevator. Tony stumbled up and walked past them to his room.

"Tony!" Loki called chasing after him.

"Leave me alone!" he yelled from inside his room. Loki hesitated at the door and thought maybe he'd give him some time. He turned around and the other Avengers were watching.

"What happened?" Bruce asked.

Loki thought for another minute, "He was screaming at himself when we walked in, and then he ran to his room,"

The group got quiet. "I was hoping this wouldn't happen," Bruce said quietly.

"What wouldn't happen?" Clint asked.

"Post traumatic stress," Bruce rubbed his brows roughly. "He doesn't want to admit it or face the fact that that woman really screwed him up,"

"What if he hasn't realized that that's what happening? What if he thinks it's…his fault?" Natasha asked.

"Then we'll have to be careful with what we say and do around him until he agrees to see a therapist," Bruce stated.


	21. Chapter 21

"I don't need to see a fucking therapist, oh my God," Tony exclaimed angrily, "I'm fine!"

Bruce looked at him concerning as they sat outside on the covered patio. Tony liked watching the rain fall. "You've locked yourself away from everyone else and you won't talk to us unless forced to. For God's sake, you're ignoring Loki!"

Tony had the nose cast removed a week ago and now was impatiently waiting for his arm to be freed. "I said 'I'm fine',"

Bruce was getting angry, "You're going to torture yourself into submission and then you're really going to fall. Hard."

Tony looked at him with stern eyes, "I'm not seeing a shrink. Shrink's are for crazy people,"

"Tony, they're not 'for crazy people', they for people who have too many emotions bottled up that can harm them,"

"I'M FINE! Really!" Tony stood, "I'm perfect. Swell. Grandeur. Pefectemon. Sitting in my tower is what I do best."

"TONY!" Bruce yelled a little too dangerously. Tony shut up. "I don't know what's going through your head, but we need to get you to somebody because your thoughts literally might end up killing you."

_It's because you don't want to deal with me_. "You're right," Tony replied coolly. "You are _exactly_ right."

"What did I say?" Bruce said sensing the sarcasm.

"Nothing." Tony stated bluntly.

"Tony, we can't be doing this. _You_ can't be doing this,"

"Doing what exactly? Keeping to myself?"

"Yes. Do you know how dangerous that can be?"

"Well as I've said that I'm fine more than once, what else do you want me to say? I'm not seeing a shrink. Final word."

Bruce got up fuming, "Then this is your fault!"

_I know._

"We're trying to _help_ you Tony, we're on _your _side! But we can't help you if you push us out like this!"

"I didn't ask to involve you!"

"NO, you didn't, but when your _friends_ are hurting you help them regardless!" Bruce was out of breath, "You either have us help you or you're on your own."

"Thanks, Bruce, thank you so fucking much." Tony spat.

"WHAT DID I DO?" Tony yelled in frustration and shoved past him and into the tower. "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

Tony achingly moved his arm out of the sling and stretched it carefully as he made his way to his room.

Loki and Steve were in the living room watching the madness unfold and followed Tony to his room.

"What're you doing?" Steve asked abruptly watching Tony stretch out his arm. The cast kept it bent but he moved his hand around and began picking up clothes from his floor and threw them on his bed.

"Leaving."

Loki became panicked, "Why are you leaving?"

"Why?" Tony barked a fake laugh. "_Why_?" he turned around to face them.

"Calm down," Loki tried cooing. "We care about you,"

_Lies._

"Tony, you shouldn't go by yourself." Steve stated.

"I'll be fine,"

"Do you want a repeat of what happened last time?" Loki barked. Tony froze.

"Tony, we can't afford to lose you," Steve put in.

"_Afford_? So I'm something you buy now?"

"Bad choice of words," Steve said cringing at what he'd just said. "I meant we don't want to lose you again. You don't know how scared we got when that call blared on the speakers here,"

"So I'm not allowed to leave? Ever?"

"Calm down!" Loki tried again.

Tony whirled around and Steve pushed him down on his bed. This triggered something in Tony neither of them was expecting. He began to breath heavy and looked at his feet and then at his hand. He looked up his pupils dilating completely. "Get away," he stated digging his heels into the mattress now.

"Tony, we're not-" Steve tried.

"Get away!" he threatened now trying to push himself into the wall. Steve approached him a little to quickly and Tony screamed. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" his scream was so tragic that the two stopped what they were doing and froze.

"Shit." Loki said running out of the room.

"Tony, it's okay, I'm not going to do anything," Steve said beginning to internally freak out.

"Get away, get away, GET AWAY!"

Steve took a big step backwards, "I'm not going to hurt you!" he held up his hands in surrender.

Tony stumbled off his bed in a quick jump and grabbed something out from underneath his bed. This was something he'd stolen only a day before, something he'd stolen from Fury's personal closet.

He held out in his crippled, bent arm was a Magnum Revolver. Technically, it was a Model 500 S&W which is the world's most powerful handgun. And he had it pointed at Steve. He looked awkward with his arm bent in a cast, but his eyes were glazed with fear and his body began to shake.

"HOLY-!" Steve just about yelled as he began backing up rather quickly. "T-Tony, put the gun down,"

"Get out." Tony threatened cocking the gun with his thumb. "GET _OUT!_"

And Steve did without hesitation. He left the door open and Tony went up to slam it shut. He was shaking so badly he almost dropped the gun. But there were loud voices outside the door and he heard Fury's angry tone.

"Tony, open the door!" Fury demanded.

_They're coming to get you. Get your other arm. You'll be done for then._

Tony put the gun to his head. He squinted his eyes closed feeling tears stream from them, "Get out!" he cried.

Realizing the door wasn't locked, Fury shoved the door open and Tony aimed the gun at him, and fired just as Loki got in the way.

The bullet was so powerful it knocked Loki backwards onto Fury and the two fell. Loki gasped for air clutching his wounded chest.

Tony saw what he'd done and stood there lifeless.

_It's your fault. _

_ He's going to die because of you._

Loki gasped again but pulled the bullet out of his chest and threw it to the side. He could still heal himself so it would only take seconds, but this didn't register in Tony's head.

He put the gun to hid head again.

"Tony!" Loki exclaimed from the ground trying to pick himself up.

Tony fired the gun. Lucky for him, Fury only puts one round of bullets in his guns as a paranoid thought, so the gun is sitting empty at Tony's head.

Loki scrambles up and knocks the weapon out of his awkward arm. Tony began pushing him away with incredible force, but Loki grabbed a hold of him and pinned him down on the ground.

Fury got up and pulled out a syringe. Tony began screaming bloody murder and thrashed beneath Loki. Fury stuck the syringe into Tony's neck and soon the man fell limp.


	22. Chapter 22

He had made his worst fear a reality.

Tony was strapped down to a bed in a psychiatric hospital. He stared at the ceiling like he usually did in any bed and felt the tears slipping past his temple and into his hair.

He had been discharged from the Avengers.

Steve said it wasn't for long, just until Tony had his head on straight. Fury told the press that Tony Stark was taking an extended vacation over to Europe and for some reason, the press bought this.

Loki was sitting next to Tony's bed as he filled out his paperwork for admission. Fury had given him his social security card, driver's license, any necessary documentation that was needed to impatient him.

Loki grunted, "Tony, what's your birthday? Fury didn't give me anything about that," Tony didn't say anything and Loki looked at him. "What else were we supposed to do, Tony?" Tony closed his eyes and faked a smile still not saying anything. Loki sighed and tapped the pen on the clipboard. "What do you want to do, then?"

"Die."

It was that simple word that made Loki snap the pen in two. It bled all over his hand and the paperwork and he jumped up alarmed at his doing. "Shit," he mumbled leaving the room. He returned minutes later rewriting the same information down again. "That's why you're here." He stated. "I don't know much about places like these here on Earth, but what Fury, Steve, and Natasha told me I have to take their word that this is the best place for you. You know, on Asgard I was told of a place similar to this that tortured souls went to, I'd never seen it but when people were released they were happier and had better motives for their lives. I hope that this place can do the same for you,"

"But you won't be here."

Loki's heart sank, "No," he agreed, "But the doctor said I can visit on weekdays between 1 and 3. So, there's that,"

"How long will I be here?"

Loki was quiet as he filled in Tony's social security number. Natasha had asked the doctor about it when all of them came to say good-bye and the doctor said up to six months, "I'm not sure," he lied. He finished the paperwork as slowly as possible, but the doctor came in impatiently waiting on him. "I'm going to have to go," Loki whispered gathering his things.

"No," Tony said his voice pleading.

"I can't stay here with you…"

"Please…please, don't go,"

Loki couldn't look at him anymore, "I'll come tomorrow," he said heading for the door.

"T-that's it?" Tony stuttered, "Just like that, I'm thrown out?"

Loki sighed turning around, "We're not throwing you out, Tony,"

"You're leaving me here in this horrid place."

"It'll be good for you." _I hope._

Tony took it the wrong way, "Just leave." He stated.

"_Tony_," Loki complained. Tony didn't say anything further and Loki was forced to leave by the doctor.

Two weeks passed.

A month passed.

Three months passed.

Christmas was approaching now having put Tony Stark in the hospital for four months.

The Avengers would come to visit on a regular basis, but he wouldn't allow the visitors to see him. He secluded himself into his room most of the time, learned to use just one arm instead of two, had to learn to rewrite because before he was right handed, now he was left handed, and he learned that part of his smell had been reduced from the major impact on his eye and nasal cavity a few months back.

He was released the week before Christmas and they escorted him to the Stark Tower. He would be on house arrest for the following month and his room was to be monitored 24/7. Loki was also moving into his room because the doctor said to never leave him alone, even when he was showering. Someone had to sit on the toilet while he bathed.

He walked into the Stark Tower after four months of 'captivity' and was greeted by the Avengers team and Fury. They all had smiles and were happy to see him. They all chatted him up as they took him upstairs. They got out of the elevator and a big "Welcome Home!" sign was plastered across the kitchen window. There was a cake waiting for him in the kitchen as well.

He didn't show any facial response to any of this and the group became worried.

"What do you want to do?" Clint asked.

Tony didn't say anything as he wandered around the living room taking in everything again.

"We bought you cake, dear friend!" Thor boomed happily.

Tony turned around with tears in his eyes, "Thanks," he said forcing a smile over his cry. "I think I need some time alone," The group shifted uncomfortably, "As alone as I'm allowed to be," he corrected himself. He headed off to his room as everyone voted Loki to watch him. They were sharing a room, afterall.

They got to their room and Loki closed the door going across to his own bed. The desk that used to be parallel to Tony's bed had been replaced with Loki's bed.

Tony lay own on his bed and closed his eyes, "Do you know what's it's like to be continually watched for four months straight?"

"No."

"Do you know what it's like to have your personal belongings checked three times a day in case you could be carrying anything sharp?"

"No…"

"Do you know what's it's like to have everything you're worth stripped from you?"

"I do, actually,"

Tony looked over at a concerned Loki. "You were right, you know,"

"About what?"

"That people become better after they get out."

"I'm glad to hear that,"

"I didn't specify what I got better at."

Loki looked over worried now. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing." He said closing his eyes again. "I'm going to take a nap, then I'll eat some cake,"


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: HI EVERYONE! So this fic got serious really fast. Haha, but I promise there won't be as many tears in the upcoming chapters! If there are, they may be tears of joy! ^^ But I'm so grateful that y'all are enjoying this. This is my first fic on here and I've never thought that I'd get readers who _enjoyed_ my work, so thank you, loves! 3333

After a couple of hours Tony woke up with a reading Loki sitting across from him. Loki looked up and placed his thumb between the pages as he closed the book. "Sleep well?"

Tony sighed sitting up, "Yeah," he said, "How about that cake," he said pulling his legs over the side of his bed.

The Avengers had grown nervous with Tony's disappearance to his room. "Maybe he doesn't want to see us," Steve said trying to find specific pieces to a puzzle him and Clint had been working on the past couple days.

"He had no choice coming here." Natasha began, "He has no family, and being required to be watched doesn't give him the option of going to one of his far-off hotels or houses. So whether he wants to see us or not is not a choice for him,"

Clint shifted uncomfortably, "I'm just afraid something is going to happen again," he mumbled.

"We all are," Thor agreed. "But he is our friend, yes? We must treat him as so, not like the prisoner he thinks he is," Everyone looked at him. "Is it not the truth?"

"No, it is," Bruce nodded. "Just you said it so bluntly,"

"If it is the truth why would you stray from saying so?" Thor asked.

"Nevermind," Bruce wove his hand in the air dismissing the subject.

Loki entered the hallway with Tony behind him. He stretched his one arm and yawned still partially waking up from the nap. It was late afternoon now, and Natasha had decided to order pizza, one of Tony's favorite foods.

Tony went directly to the cake and grabbed himself a plate. "Here, I'll cut you a slice," Steve said jumping up from his difficult puzzle.

"Thanks," Tony said as his friend cut him a rather large piece. He smiled handing him the plate. Tony smiled in thanks and took it over to the couch. He sat down and began shoveling the cake into his mouth.

"Is it good?" Bruce asked.

"Most definitely,"

"Loki made it,"

Tony looked over at the man who had his nose stuck in his book again, "Thanks, Loki," he said and the man looked up from his book and smiled.

"My pleasure,"

"So, did you guys finish Harry Potter or what?" Tony asked.

Natasha nodded her head hanging up with the pizza guy. "Yeah, they haven't watched the movies yet. They wanted to wait for you on that,"

"The magic in the book yet surprises me still," Thor inquired. "How magic is transferred through wands baffles me,"

Tony smirked, "It's just fiction, it's not real, Big Guy,"

Thor nodded, "I'm aware of that, but how do such humans come up with stories like that? These should be told in Asgard to the young children!"

The group chuckled, "It's true," Loki agreed, "The kids at home are naïve and will believe anything, especially if the stories came from Midgard,"

"Maybe you should take the series up the next time you go home," Clint suggested.

"Marvelous idea!" Thor exclaimed happily.

"What else have you guys been doing?" Tony asked going up for a second slice; Steve immediately stood and helped him get another piece.

"Just doing the same things, waiting for you, Steve's been taking more art classes," Natasha began.

"But nothing exciting has been going on with us personally," Clint added.

"What about crime?" Tony asked not looking up from his dessert.

The group got quiet, Fury told them not to talk to him about this, "It's been alright," Natasha said plainly.

Tony nodded, "Anything exciting?"

"Not really," Bruce lied.

"I see," Tony knew they were being hush-hush about it and this bothered him. "We should do something tonight,"

"I agree!" Natasha exclaimed happy he wanted to be active with them.

"What would you like to do?" Clint asked. Loki looked up as his heart sped, the last time he asked this question he didn't get a good answer.

"We could watch the Harry Potter movies, or go see a show," he said finishing his second piece. He set the plate on the coffee table across from him and leaned back. Loki sighed with his answer glad it wasn't anything terrible.

"Well the Opera's in town, I don't know if we can still get tickets with it being so close," Steve suggested.

"You forget I'm a billionaire," Tony smirked, "I own a few boxes at the opera," he stated. "What's playing?"

"Black Swan, I think it is," Loki said not wanting to see it. It was a devastating story and he didn't know if Tony would be up for that.

"Never been a fan," Tony wrinkled his nose, "I saw the movie with whats-her-name and didn't like it, maybe another time," he said.

"Harry Potter movies, then?" Bruce asked. "We bought them all in case,"

"Yeah, sounds good," Tony smiled as the doorbell rang for pizza.

It got on to midnight and Tony was still up. The others had things to do in the morning, so it left Clint and Loki still up with him.

The second film ended and Clint got up to stretch, "I think I'm off to bed, guys," he yawned. "See you in the morning," he said making his way to his bedroom.

Loki looked at Tony and smiled lightly, "You ready for bed?"

"I actually want to take a walk,"

"You're on house arrest,"

"I know," Tony nodded. "But I can wish, right?"

Loki frowned, "Of course you can,"

"I guess I'll take a bath then," he shrugged getting up.

"Why don't you take one in the morning? It'll help you wake up,"

"I'm used to taking them at night; I was never allowed to take them during the day,"

"Oh, alright," Loki said getting up. "I…have to watch you," he whispered.

"I know," Tony nodded going to his bathroom. When he got there he started the water and took off his shirt. There were dozens of scars along his sides and some on his lower back. They weren't large scars, but they were pink with new skin.

"Tony, what're those?" Loki asked quietly closing the bathroom door.

"Nothing," he said taking his pants off. Loki's face went red and he whirled around to face the other direction. "I'm not getting naked," Tony informed. "I'm just in my boxers, you're fine,"

Loki looked over his shoulder as Tony began getting in the massive tub. He put the lid down on the toilet and sat.

"There's room for two," Tony said nonchalantly. Loki looked at him startled and his face went a deeper shade of red.

"T-Tony, I'm not going to get in the bath with you," Loki stammered.

Tony smirked at his reaction. "Please?" he begged batting his eyes.

Loki was so flustered be fiddled with his fingers.

"We're not going to do anything, but the water's nice and I want some company," Tony stated.

Loki shook his head laughing nervously, "I'm not getting in here, Tony,"

Tony reached over the bathtub and began pulling at Loki's pants, "Get in here!" he exclaimed starting to laugh.

Loki pushed away at him, "Tony, stop!" he laughed.

"I will pull you in here clothed!" Tony pulled harder and Loki slid somewhat off the toilet seat.

Loki continued to laugh as he struggled against his friend. "Stop!" Tony finally got him to stand and he held up his hands, "Okay, fine!" Tony let go of his pants and watched. "Look away, I'm self conscious,"

"Nah, I'm good,"

"Bastard,"

"Just take your clothes off already,"

Loki's face, somehow, went even darker. He turned around facing the door again and took off his shirt and pants leaving him in his boxers as well. He turned around with Tony smirking like a little kid and got in on the other end of the tub. "Happy?"

"Ecstatic." He genuinely looked happy and Loki tried pushing past his shyness so he could see a happy Tony; something he hadn't seen in a long time.

Loki wanted to ask so many things sitting in the tub with him, but he just smiled and whisked them away for the moment. He didn't want to ruin the moment.

They began talking about random things. Loki told funny stories of things that happened while Tony was away, and Tony would exaggerate on some of the inpatients who never failed to entertain him. They laughed and sat there until the water grew cold and Tony began to shiver.

"Alright, I think it's time to get out," Loki stated getting up. They did so and went to their room. Loki walked in first, threw his clothes on the ground, and lay on his bed. Tony wasn't hesitant about it and went over straddling the man on the bed. "W-what're you doing?" Loki asked nervously. Tony didn't give an answer, he bent down and kissed Loki passionately. At first Loki didn't know what to think about it, but only a second later he reached his hands up and kissed back.


	24. Chapter 24

Loki woke up cold in his bed. He shivered and went down to grab his comforter and noticed, in the corner of his eye, that Tony wasn't in the room. He got up alerted and rushed to the bathroom, he wasn't there. He ran down to the living room and found nothing. The sun was just starting to rise and it casted long shadows over the neighboring buildings.

"I'm guessing you're looking for me,"

Loki whirled around to face the kitchen were Tony was seated. He had made himself peanut butter toast, a bowl of cereal, and had a glass of water next to his plate. Tony was sitting in the dark, oddly enough, as he ate, but it had looked as though he had been here a while because the toast was almost gone and his bowl was halfway gone. "Yeah…" Loki mumbled out.

Tony looked down at his toast, picked up the last piece, and took a bite. "Want some?" he asked.

Loki shook his head, "I got scared," he admitted quietly.

Tony nodded looking back up, "I left a note on the door. Guess you didn't see it,"

"You're not supposed to be unsupervised," Loki said sternly.

"Well I assumed with this being my tower and all I can eat when I'm hungry."

"What did the authorities say?" Loki asked getting a little angry.

"Why are you so upset about this? I just made breakfast; I'm used to eating at this time."

"Then you should have told me so I could be out here with you. I could have cooked or something,"

Tony stopped eating finally understanding that Loki was really worried about this, "Okay, I'll wake you up tomorrow then," he stated calmly.

Loki took a deep breath, "Sorry," he said shaking his head.

"Don't be,"

Loki sat down across from Tony, "I'm just worried about you,"

"I know."

They were quiet for a minute and Tony began munching away again, "I can't forget the day I registered you into that hospital," he began mumbling. Tony stopped eating. "I didn't agree with sending you there, but because the others had trusted me to sign you in I had to put on a brave face and say it was for the best. I don't know what went on while you were there, but I hope you got good treatment."

"After you had left," Tony cut in, "I felt abandoned. It's not the first time I've felt that way in my life, and since I'm a grown-ass man you'd think I'd be over it. But, I wasn't. I thought you guys had ditched me because you didn't want to deal with my problems or just…me in general. I got to my room at about 2am and I began getting desperate. I looked for shoe-laces, anything sharp, I even tried tying my sheets together, but that didn't work because you need two hands for that. I grew manic and hid myself in the bathroom. I found a secret stash of Vicadin my roommate had hidden in there. There were about 10 pills or so in the bag that I had found, and may I remind you that it wasn't that well hidden."

"Why are you telling me this?" Loki's voice sounded lost, hurt, and broken.

Tony didn't answer his question, but continued on with his story, "I took one pill for each of you thinking it was the best thing to do. I had four remaining pills after I had accounted for you lot, and then I downed them." Loki's face was pale. "I woke up the next day on a different floor because my stomach had been pumped."

"Tony, please stop…" Loki begged putting his face in his hands.

Tony took a bite of his toast as if this story didn't effect or faze him, "I tried to kill myself eight times after that, and because none of your are my family I asked to have the information kept to my eyes only. You asked what those scars on my back are from, they're self-harm scars." He took another bite.

"Tony, stop." Loki pleaded tears streaking between his fingers.

"During the eight times I tried to kill myself I had thought that life was worth nothing if no one loves you. I had convinced myself that you had lied to me before just to make me feel better."

"D-do you still think that?" Loki kept his face hidden in his hands as he cried.

"I'm not sure." Tony said honestly.

"But I do love you." Loki mumbled into his palms. "What changed from last night? You seemed to believe that I loved you then,"

"Do you trust me?" Tony asked finishing his breakfast with a large swallow of water.

Loki looked up, "What?"

"Do you trust me?"

"I don't know anymore. I can't tell if you're trying to tell me you're just going to lie about everything, or if you want me to leave you alone; Tony, I don't know," he looked up his face pink from emotion.

"I haven't lied to you." Tony stated.

"Then what do you want me to do?" Loki barked.

"No matter what I say or think, don't leave me."

"Why would I leave you?" Loki demanded. Tony was quiet with an answer already in his head, but he kept it quiet. "Tony, I'm not going to leave you no matter what you say or do to me. I love you and that'll never change,"

Tony nodded, "I'm telling you this because I want you to know. I hate to admit it, but…" he trailed off looking hesitant now, "I'm very sensitive to a lot of things now. The doctor called it 'tip-toeing", and it worked out pretty well."

"So you want us to watch what we say around you?"

"Yeah,"

Loki nodded, "We can do that." He then understood he was telling him all of this because Tony knew his safeguards and pressure points and he was trying to relay them to him. Tony was never, ever good at explaining things. "What else do we need to do?"

Loki hit the mark and Tony felt a sort of relief. He began listing out things not to say or do around him that made him upset or would trigger him. Loki tried not to get emotional with some of the things Tony said, but he couldn't help it.

"Stop crying," Tony smiled. Loki huffed out a laugh and wiped his eyes. "If I'm overwhelming you I can stop,"

"No, no, you're fine. I need to know this stuff so I can relay it."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because it's hard for me to believe that the man I love thinks about hurting himself or wanting to…" he trailed off and sighed trying to rein back his emotions from spiking again, "And I _do_ trust you, Tony, I really do. That's the truth and you need to trust me that I trust you. We all understood that you coming back was not going to be easy on any one, but whatever you need you let us know and we'll do anything in our power to fix it." Tony smiled lightly showing his appreciation. "Do you trust what I'm saying?"

"If you trust me then I trust you."

"So it's a mutual agreement,"

"I guess so,"

They smiled at each other for a long moment and then Loki looked away shyly.


	25. Chapter 25

The next couple of days passed with nothing exciting happening. There were a couple of robberies, but the Avengers left that in NYPD hands. They began decorating, though it was late, their floor with a Christmas tree, lights, any sort of decoration for this holiday they grabbed and plastered it somewhere on the floor.

Thor and Loki were completely entranced by the holiday and participated in everything they were allowed to. Thor watched as Natasha and Steve set up the tree and strung lights on it. Natasha showed Thor and Loki how to string ornaments and to place them at a decent space apart from one another. Clint blasted Christmas tunes off the radio and Bruce was trying to teach Thor a few of the simple lyrics, but Thor couldn't catch on.

Tony didn't like holidays that much, but Loki persuaded him to _try_ and enjoy it because it was his first Christmas.

They had a small dinner that night and everyone stayed up late around the dinner table playing cards and drinking. (Except Tony, he wasn't allowed to drink.) Thor never got sloppy when he was drunk, he seemed almost normal until you started telling jokes. Then he would laugh at everyother word and make stupid remarks.

Clint was the sloppiest. He slurred his words, stumbled everywhere, and then tried to use his chair as a bow to sling cards like arrows. It didn't work out to well and he fell over and stayed there for a good 30 minutes until everyone realized he'd fallen asleep.

Natasha would slur her words, but that was about it. She laughed a lot, which was rare, and would press the cards against her forehead surprised everytime that they stuck to her skin.

Steve, of course, couldn't get drunk, but he still laughed and did stupid shit like he would have been.

Loki was quiet and kept to himself, but as soon as he got up he stumbled and had to grab on to his chair for support which made everyone bust out laughing even more.

Bruce was trying to get everyone to like science by telling stupid science jokes (only Tony and Thor thought these were funny) and even tried convincing everyone that people were made out of grass.

Tony sat there sipping on his water joining in on the fun, he laughed with them and did stupid things, too, and all was well.

Clint, Thor, and Bruce crashed in the living room convinced they couldn't make it to their beds, and Natasha and Steve had linked arms as they sang all the way back to their rooms.

Loki had his head pressed down on the table humming a Christmas carol as Tony sat back relaxing.

"Ready for bed?" Tony asked.

"Nhothyhet," he mumbled against the table.

"What?" Tony chuckled and Loki lifted his head up.

"Not yet," he clarified.

"Do you want to play another card game? Drink more? What? It's like 3am," Tony was all smiles.

Loki shrugged and placed his head down on the table again, but this time his face was facing Tony and he smiled at him. "You're cute," Loki slurred.

Tony laughed, "I'm glad you think so,"

Loki continued to smile and sighed. He looked like he wanted to say something, but then he turned his face back into the table.

"I think it's time for bed," Tony said patting Loki's back. It took several minutes for Loki to stand, but when he did he tripped and fell and roared laughing.

"SHUT UP!" Clint yelled from the living room floor.

Tony helped Loki up and they eventually made it to their bedroom. Loki pretty much belly flopped onto his bed and was out in seconds. Tony laid on his own mattress and closed his eyes.

Loki was jolted awake by a scream. He jumped up as his hangover making its presence known by splitting his skull. Tony was thrashing and screaming in his sleep and Loki shook him awake. It seemed all too familiar again. "Hey, hey," Loki called as Tony shot up sweat drenching him as his body shook. "You're okay," he cooed sitting at the edge of Tony's bed. His head was pounding so badly he almost couldn't see straight.

Tony laid down on his bed breathing heavily and placed the back of his palm against his forehead. "Yeah," he whispered. Loki looked down and watched his face as he took deep breaths. His teeth were a slick, red color and he back alerted.

"You're bleeding..!" he said breathless not really knowing what to do.

"I bleed all the time," Tony stated. "Please don't worry about it," he said using his tongue to try and clean his teeth, but his tongue was doused in it too and it made it worse.

"But I thought the powers and the Arc weren't killing you anymore,"

"I never said they weren't, nor did we figure out if they were or not. It happens all the time," Tony smiled, "I'm fine. I promise," Loki was quiet. "Lay down with me, Loki," he said scooting over so his mattress could fit two. Loki did as told and soon it felt like the hospital wing all over again. "Do you know what my least favorite thing about Christmas time is?"

"What?"

"That in some homes it can last up to an entire month. My father used to have the maids and such decorate the house in Miami for me when I was a kid and it sickened me that it lasted that long. My parents were never there on Christmas and I didn't have any family to celebrate it, so I literally had dinner with my butler and would cry myself to sleep. When I turned 15, though, I started going out to parties almost every night. I'm glad that the Avengers are only just putting up the tree. Two days before Christmas. It's nice."

"We consider you family, you know,"

"I know," Tony smiled in the dark. "But it's different to get used to,"

There was a silence between them and Loki thought he'd gone of to sleep, "Tony?"

"Mmhm?" Apparently not.

"I know it may be cutting it close to the holiday, but Clint informed me that you buy gifts for our family. Can I ask what you'd want for Christmas?" Loki seemed shy about it.

"I just want you. Don't buy me anything,"

Loki blushed at his response, "But…"

"I said no, but what do you want? I've never shopped for anyone besides Pepper,"

"You, as well. Nothing more,"

Tony's smile grew, "Aren't we easy shoppers,"

Loki chuckled, "They say that the cost of love is the most expensive treasure in the world, I think though our purchase easy to find it is indeed the most expensive."

"Why do you say that?"

"The things we've had to go through to accept it." He simply stated. Tony couldn't agree more. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, nightmare vibes are gone,"

"Good,"

Loki's head was pounding and he closed his eyes wishing to fall back asleep. "What do you want to do tomorrow?"

"Shopping for the others?" Tony suggested.

"Sounds like a plan,"

"Oh, Loki?"

"What?"

"Love you."

Loki smiled, "Love you, too,"


	26. Chapter 26

Loki, Thor, and Tony went out Christmas shopping the next day. The two didn't intend on inviting Thor, but everyone else had left to do their own shopping and Loki insisted he come along. Tony honestly didn't mind, but that meant he would have to be extremely sneaky about Thor's gift.

They went to the mall, Tony wearing a long jacket to hide his missing arm, Loki had his hair pulled back in a sloppy ponytail, and Thor, wearing normal clothing, was continually amazed that Asgard had not invented pockets in pants.

"Can I go off by myself?" Thor asked, "I cannot buy you gifts when you're here,"

"My thoughts exactly," Tony stated pulling out his wallet and handing it to Loki. (It took two hands to get money out) "Give him some cash,"

"Oh my God, how much do you have in here?" Loki asked amazed that the wallet was just sitting open because there was so much cash in it.

"I don't like using cards sometimes, just give him half or something, I don't care," Loki did as told. "Okay, see that big fountain?"

"Yes," Thor said.

"We meet back at that fountain in two hours."

"How will I know the time?"

Tony rolled his eyes, "Just ask the clerks' everytime you leave a store. The time we'll meet back is 2pm, okay?"

"Oh, that's simple enough," Thor said nodding putting the cash in his pocket. "See you later," he said trying to sound proficient in using slang but his accent was too thick and made him sound weird. Tony made a disgruntled face as Thor walked off.

"Alright," Loki said as they began walking down to a big department store.

The two hours went by, Loki and Tony had made a major dent in Tony's wallet, and was waiting patiently for Thor to return.

"Should I be nervous that he isn't here yet?" Tony asked.

"Nah, he'll be fine. Remember, he's never been to a mall before,"

"That's what makes me so nervous."

But in a few more minutes, Thor came over to them arms full of bags, and both hands filled with a pretzel and a smoothie. "Hello, friend and brother," he greeted taking a sip of his drink.

"It looks like you found your way around pretty easily," Tony stated getting up.

"Oh, yes! The ladies who made me pay were very nice, they all commented on how silky my hair looked. It must be the soap I am stealing from Clint," he stated and Loki snickered.

"I hope he never finds out you're using his shampoo, he's quite defensive about his body products," Tony stated.

"That is why it is called 'stealing', is it not?"

"Touché,"

They made their way out of the mall deciding to grab lunch at a bistro Tony loved.

"I haven't wrapped gifts in…ever," Tony stated looking at their mound of presents and wrapping paper stashed in their room.

"That makes two of us," Loki said.

They sat down and began taking big sheets of wrapping paper and covering the gifts. They used the tap to strap it down and by the time they were done it looked like a five year old had wrapped them.

"I don't think I'm very satisfied with our wrapping," Loki says as they go out to put the gifts under the tree. Natasha, Clint, and Steve's gifts are wrapped perfectly and placed neatly under the tree. Tony starts kicking his gifts to accompany the others and just laughs.

"We'll try better next year," Tony stated and Loki liked that statement.

Bruce came out of his room with a box the size of about three shoe-boxes in length. Apparently, it was somewhat heavy because Bruce looked like he was struggling a little. Loki went over to help him set the gift under the tree – towards the back – and sighed. "No peeking," Bruce scolded as Tony was trying to guess who it was for.

"It's wrapped, it's not like I can see through wrapping paper," Tony stated.

Bruce smirked, "I know, but I want it to be a surprise,"

"It's wrapped, therefore it _is_ a surprise,"

"Oh shut up and get away from it," Bruce walked back towards his room.

The next day came and Clint had complained that his Xbox had broken. "Natasha was playing some online game on it last night and it combusted into flames," he complained sitting down in the living room with Tony, Loki, and Bruce.

"Well maybe you should ask Santa for one," Bruce said not looking up from his magazine.

"Who's Santa?" Loki asked and then the three had remembered they never told him or Thor about him.

"He's a mythical guy who uses deer to fly around the world on Christmas night to deliver toys to kids," Tony explained shortly.

"'Mythical'? So he's not real?"

"Nope, but us adults like to pretend he is for kids to make Christmas feel…more…magical?" Tony asked.

Bruce nodded, "I never believed in him, but my parents always insisted that he was,"

"What does he look like?" Loki asked curiously.

"He has a white beard, he's fat, and wears red and white clothes. Here, I'll pull up a picture of him," Clint said pulling out his phone and began his image research. He showed the screen to Loki and he nodded.

"It would be nice if such a man existed," Loki said thinking out loud.

"Why do you say that? And where's Steve?" Clint asked checking the hallway, "He should be here now,"

"Because people need hope and joy in something," Loki simply stated.

"Did someone call my name?" Steve asked coming out of his room with paint on his hands.

"Come be social," Clint demanded.

"Can't, working," he said returning back to his room.

Clint pouted, "Meany,"

"When does Santa appear?" Loki was really interested in this.

"The songs say that he knows when you're asleep, and he only visits at midnight because he knows the kids will be out by then. It's a good cover-up," Tony said.

"I see," Loki then went quiet as he thought.


	27. Chapter 27

It was Christmas Eve Day and Steve was the first up. He was always excited for Christmas, and this was his first significant holiday in the year 2012. He went and woke Loki up because the two had decided to make breakfast for the group.

"Pass the carton," Steve requested stretching his hand towards Loki who was at the refrigerator. Loki did as told and pulled out the cookie mix he made the night before. "We can't have cookies this early," Steve laughed.

"Yes we can, it's Christmas,"

Steve shrugged and cracked a few eggs into his hot skillet.

The hour had gone by and Natasha and Bruce had emerged to the living room. "Smells like chocolate," Natasha inquired as they made their way to the kitchen area.

"Loki's making cookies," Steve said putting their feast together. He had made eggs, bacon, toast, potatoes, lightly cooked tortillas, and chicken strips. "I, however, made a line for breakfast tacos,"

"That sounds amazing," Bruce said. "I'll get the others, then," he said disappearing into the other rooms.

Everyone had finally eaten and settled on watching old Christmas movies on TV. Loki and Thor didn't ask questions as the movies played, but Loki did, however, tell Thor about Santa.

"Are you sure he does not exist?" Thor asked seriously.

"Pretty sure," Clint answered.

"How sure?"

"100 percent sure,"

"Oh," Thor looked slightly disappointed.

"But they say he comes at midnight when you're sleeping," Steve said eyeing Clint angrily. He mouthed 'what?" back. "So he could exist,"

Thor immediately brightened up, "So I have to sleep in order for him to visit?" he asked.

"Yes!" Steve exclaimed just as Clint was about to say "No". "That's the only way he'll bring gifts," Thor nodded continuing to think.

"It still amazes me that Loki caught on to Earth's slang so quickly while Thor still struggles with it," Natasha stated sipping on a cup of coffee.

"It is because I wish not to learn it as deeply as my brother does," Thor answered. "I do not want to insult my father or mother when I return to Asgard with such…'slang',"

Loki snickered, "I'm not allowed back so I don't give a shit,"

"Exhibit A." Natasha smiled.

The day went on and Fury decided to pop in on the group. He had on an overly-knitted Christmas sweater and he held a bag full of gifts. They were small, but there was one for each of them, including Loki. "Merry Christmas, motherfuckers," he chimed.

The first time Fury had said the curse word 'motherfuckers' Loki, Thor, and Steve lost their shit, but now they were used to it.

"Same to you,"

"You, too,"

"Yep. Christmas."

"Tony, be nice."

"I like this holiday, it's so festive!"

"Do I get to go hunting yet?"

Fury gave them their gifts and they all were hesitant about opening them. "I brought them to open, douche bags," So the group did. Inside each of their gifts was a small pendant of the Avengers "logo" – the circle with the A. "I had these custom made for each of you. On the back will be your initials. That means you can't trade with each other. They're your new walky-talkies and emergency buttons. You talk into them like normal, but if your team is down you click the A twice and emergency personnel will be there within seconds. Now if you'll excuse me I have some strippers to attend to," and he left them.

"Let's play Halo or something with these," Clint said pinning it to his jacket. "We'll divide into teams and hunt each other in the building,"

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Natasha sighed. "Fun, but I wouldn't recommend it," she looked at Tony with a soft gaze.

"I'll be fine, I can be the ref or something," Tony suggested and the group decided to play. "Since we're the only ones in the tower tonight, I suggest we play in the dark," he said and everyone agreed. "Jarvis, cut the lights in the building,"

"Yes, sir," and then it was dark all except for Tony's Arc. It glowed softly against everyone as they all got their "choice" of weapons.

"How do we know when someone is shot?" Clint asked, "We could easily fake that we missed it."

"That's why I'm here," Tony said.

Thor picked a broom, Loki took a few DVD's to throw, Natasha wasn't allowed to use her hand-to-hand combat as she requested, so she picked a wooden spoon instead, Steve grabbed a pillow for a shield, Clint picked a water bottle because he ran out of ideas, and Bruce decided not to play.

"Loki, DVD's aren't a proper weapon," Natasha said looking at the small pile of movies he had collected.

"Yes they are, it's Christmas,"

And they were off. The game lasted well past midnight and lucky for the group, Thor had forgotten about Santa. When they decided to retire for the night it was almost 4AM.

Everyone retired to their rooms and Loki sat down still laughing about how Clint had fallen down a flight of stairs because he tripped on his water bottle. He didn't get too hurt, just a few scratches here and there, but it had the entire group rolling laughing for about twenty minutes.

Tony rolled onto his side and closed his eyes ready for sleep, "Tony?"

"Mmhm?"

"Can I sleep with you?"

"You don't have to ask, you know,"

"I was just being polite," but Loki went over and laid next to Tony. "Did you have fun tonight?"

"Best Christmas I've ever had, probably,"

"Why 'probably'?"

"Pepper and I spent a Christmas together one year which ended up being tons of fun,"

"But this one was the best?"

"I think I'd have to say yes. How about you, how was your first Christmas?"

"It was…interesting. I loved it, though,"

Tony rolled onto his other side to face Loki, their chests were touching and their faces were inches apart. "I'm glad," Tony said.

Loki took a careful hand and placed it gently on Tony's cheek, he leaned it slowly and kissed him. Tony, being Tony, didn't hesitate and leaned into it.

It was gentle at first, but soon they both got possessive and Loki pushed Tony down to straddle him. Tony fussed with Loki's shirt, but only having one arm he found this difficult. Loki got the hint and removed his shirt revealing his unusually pale skin. Tony bit his lip at the sight while Loki let him admire his chest for a moment, but soon it was over and their lips met again.

For a while it was a heated make-out session until Tony's chest began to burn. He ignored it while Loki's mouth was against his, but he soon felt his throat moisten and Loki was jolted back wiping his mouth. Blood had stained his lips. "Tony, you're bleeding again!" he exclaimed worriedly.

Tony shook his head angry that whatever was inside him ruined his moment, or moments. "I'm fine," he said, but soon blood began to drip out of his nose and he sat up tilting his head back. "Get me a tissue," Loki grabbed an article of clothing instead and handed it over. "I said tissue, not my nice shirt!" Loki grabbed one of _his_ shirts and handed it to him. Tony didn't hesitate as the blood grew more fluid and began streaking down his chin. "Shit," he mumbled into the shirt.

"What can I do?" Loki asked.

"Nothing," Tony shook his head as blood continued to coat his mouth. Once it had settled down a bit, he removed the shirt from his face and wiped his face clean. "Well that was fun," he said. "I guess getting excited causes my mouth and nose to bleed," he laughed. He looked at a serious Loki, "I'm fine, Loki, really,"

"I just get really worried,"

"It's Christmas, the only thing I want you to worry about is when you're going to kiss me like that again,"

Loki smirked and kissed Tony on the nose, "Will that do?"

"Nope, I liked the ones before,"

Loki smiled and bent down to kiss him on the lips.


	28. Chapter 28

Christmas morning came and Natasha got everyone up at an ungodly hour of the morning to open gifts.

Everyone had divided out their gifts to each other and so they all began taking turns opening presents.

Thor had received a bunch of normal clothing, hair-ties, a brush, and a book on how to use "slang".

Bruce received a bunch of science books, a few new lab things, a pair of underwear with the Hulk on it, a glasses case, and a package of blueberries.

Natasha got new thigh-gun-holders for her weapons, a really pretty pair of earrings, a book titled "How to Live With Men", and new make-up from Pepper.

Clint got new tips to his arrows, new boots, hair gel, the DVD box-set of Lord of the Rings because Tony claimed his "father" was in them, and some toe-socks he had requested.

Steve had received a bunch of old CD's, a Christmas sweater, polish finish for his shield, and the DVD version of The Wizard of Oz.

Loki had gotten hair-ties as well, a few more normal pieces of clothing, a cook book on Asian cuisine, a packet of heart stickers, and a gift-card to Petsmart so he could pick out a cat.

Tony, on the other hand, was last to open his gifts. He had received some new fun electronic toys, a wallet that looked like cash, and his last gift, the big one that Bruce had hidden behind the tree, he was just opening now. "You really can't wrap that well," he told Bruce.

"Oh, I'm sorry, were mind twisted in wrapping paper and then strapped down with tape?" Bruce snickered.

Tony finally got the wrapping paper off and took the top of the box off. He took out the tissue paper and stared down for a long minute. He looked up at Bruce with tears in his eyes and then back down to his gift. He put a soft hand on it and pulled it out. It was the robotic arm Bruce had been working on months ago.

"I don't know if you've ever seen Fullmetal Alchemist the anime before, but I got my inspiration from that," Bruce began, "It'll be a painful attachment because I'll have to make sure it connects to your nerves to function like a real arm. It's everything proof, so you can bathe with it, etcetera. I mean, the pain should only last a couple of hours and then you're good to go, but-"

"Thank you." Tony said tears streaking his cheeks. "You…this…" The group was quiet as he became speechless. "This is amazing," he said looking at it carefully inspecting all the nooks and carneys. He put the arm carefully back in the box and rushed over giving Bruce a hug.

Breakfast came and Bruce had taken Tony down to the lab to connect it to his stump.

The others were making holiday foods (Loki settled on cookies) and they all sat down eventually to watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Not the new one, the old one with the bad graphics and they looked made out of paper and clay and they screamed a lot.

"Why is he yelling and throwing his axe-pick around?" Thor boomed, "That is very unsafe, especially with the talking deer!"

"Just watch the movie," Loki scolded.

"I do not understand human humor sometimes," Thor said confused. "How is yelling funny?"

No one answered him. Natasha had fortressed herself in with pillows on the floor with Clint trying to invade her fort.

"Leave her alone, Clint," Steve smirked kicking the man's backside.

"Ow! I just want pillows. She took all of them!" Clint complained.

"You should have claimed some, then," Natasha sighed.

Bruce and Tony came up sometime later. Tony looked proud and excited as the group gathered around him to look at it.

"Does it hurt? Does it taste weird?"

"It's so shiny,"

"Can I wear it? Like a third arm?"

"I have never seen such magnificence!"

"Thor, read that book on slang,"

Tony turned it over and flexed his fingers as though they were real. It amazed him, even though he was a genius himself, that something like this was now his. "To answer your question, Clint, it does taste weird."

"I knew it."

The rest of Christmas day went flawless. They ate, snacked, drank, laughed, napped, watched more movies, and then settled down at around midnight.

Tony and Loki were shoulder-to-shoulder in Loki's bed and were talking about random things.

"You said you didn't want anything for Christmas from me, right?" Loki asked and Tony nodded.

"You're correct," Tony answered closing his eyes. Loki got up and Tony opened his eyes just as he took off his shirt.

"Are you sure about that?"

"P-positive,"

Loki began undoing his jeans, "Are you _sure_?" he was just in his boxers.

Tony felt his heart race, "We were just talking about baking and now suddenly you're in almost nothing. This escalated quickly,"

"Well," Loki put his hands on Tony's shoulders and wrapped his legs around to straddle him like he'd done the night before. "I figured since you said you only wanted me for Christmas, I could you know, honor that gift,"

"Welp. I don't think I can argue with you sitting on me," his eyes wanted to stay on Loki's face, but they roamed to his chest and down to his groin and then his face flushed. His eyes snapped back up to Loki's face quickly and he swallowed hard. "I..uh…you must know I've never done something like this with a …um…man before,"

Loki began unbuttoning Tony's top, "Then I guess, for once, I'm the experienced one," he smirked as Tony's shirt was spread open across his chest the Arc glowing a light blue. He bent down and began kissing his clavicle and chest moving his hands along Tony's sides. He moaned softly as Loki moved his mouth to Tony's neck.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: Hey guys sorry for not updating in…forever! I know all of you were waiting for some awesome smut, but I realized (after like 6 days of trying to write it) I CAN'T DO IT. /sobs/ I hope you enjoy the rest of this fic even though there's not awesome sex. ;~; I FEEL SO BAD! Ugh. But, I really hope you enjoy this chapter~! It is coming to a close with the next couple of chapters, but I wanted to personally thank you all for liking and reading my story! I really hope you enjoy the end! Just so you know, I'm writing a SuperFamily fic after this with Peter as the POV. :D I hope y'all will read that after this! No name for that fic yet, but I'll definitely be starting it either tomorrow or this weekend! THANK YOU AGAIN, LOVLIES! 3333333

Christmas was soon over and everyone was hanging in the living room like usual as New Years inched closer and closer. No crime had been serious enough for the Avenger's to be assembled, so they were all enjoying their time together.

"I wish I could go for a walk," Tony stated watching Loki cook using a recipe from his new cookbook.

"We can walk around the tower," Loki offered putting garlic pepper into his frying pan.

"That's not fun," Tony stated watching his mechanical fingers tap on the counter.

The next few days passed and everyone had sat down to watch a movie. It was late, around 11pm, and Thor, Natasha, and Bruce had all fallen asleep on the couch.

There was a buzz over the intercom and Fury's voice came loud and booming, "We have a situation. Avengers assemble,"

And everyone jumped up, Loki woke the three, and they all dashed to their rooms to suit up.

All except Tony.

He watched them all leave, and while Loki was jogging to his room he noticed that Tony hadn't moved. He turned around and looked at him sadly. "It shouldn't take long," he said.

Tony forced a smile, "I'll just go to bed early," he said getting up.

"Tony…" Loki tried but Tony waved him off.

"I'll be fine, really," he said showing another fake smile.

"Maybe I should stay here with you,"

"Don't! I said I'll be fine, Loki! All is well," Tony said chuckling. Loki hesitated before Thor called for him.

"I'll come back soon!"

Tony went into his room and pulled out a book Loki was reading and flipped it open to the page it was bookmarked on. He began skimming the lines trying to understand what the chapter was about, or get a general idea of the characters, and found himself dozing off.

It was a jarring alarm when Jarvis came over the intercom, "Sir, you have an incoming call from Mister Barton,"

Tony groggily sat there for a moment waking up and said, "Answer," click, "Yeah?"

There was screaming in the background, "We need you to suit up! NOW!" and there was fuzz and then the line went dead. Tony sat there for a long minute understanding that his friends were obviously in dire danger. He looked at the clock and it was only a little past midnight.

He hadn't worked on the Iron Man suit in months, nor would he know if his mechanical arm would fit properly with it. He didn't hesitate getting up.

Tony knew that his probation from the hospital was being monitored 24/7 and he understood that this would possibly send him back in, but he couldn't let his friends get hurt.

He went down to the lab where he kept his suits and looked at the Mock 8. He hesitantly pressed the button to release the locks that held it in its case and stood up to the platform infront of it. Jarvis began to scan his body and the suit began to attach itself.

The Mock 8 would not fit around his mechanical arm and the suit halted. "Shit," he mumbled knowing this was going to happen. He rushed over to his work desk where everything hadn't been touched, and pulled out some wire cutters and a screwdriver. He began prying the suit's arm off so just his mechanical one would be exposed.

It took him about ten minutes of his swearing like a sailor, cutting, and kicking things until he got his suit to function with one less arm.

He got out, and flew his suit into the back window breaking it and out into the street. "Jarvis, locate the Avengers,"

"Yes, sir,"

It was difficult keeping balance with only one hand to keep him from flying sideways, but Jarvis located them in Central Park and he began that way.

As he got closer to the general direction in which the park was located, he noticed big, black billowing clouds of smoke emitting from the location in which his friends were stationed.

His stomach dropped and he swallowed hard. Tony knew he was going to have difficulty with this, but he didn't know if he could actually…handle it. He landed outside of the fire and he noticed Natasha sprawled across the pathway with a massive amount of blood pooled beneath her.

Tony grew nervous and he could feel himself begin to sweat. He didn't want to do this over again. He took a close step to Natasha and felt himself gag. Her throat had been torn apart and her eyes were looking towards the night sky with a blank, cold stare. The fire had long, crawling, eerie shadows that shown upon her and gave Tony a rendering feeling. He didn't want to do this, but what if someone else was…hurt. He took a deep breath and jumped into the action across the fire.

Thor was fighting alongside Clint and Loki at the…shadow? Tony looked closely and had Jarvis scan down the enemy. It wasn't a physical person, but the standing shadow portrayed it as one. Clint's arrows flew through it, Loki's spear couldn't penetrate it, and Thor's hammer had no use against it. Bruce and Steve were nowhere to be seen.

He joined the fight only to get nowhere in a matter of minutes. The fire around them grew closer and burned at their ankles. Clint had tried getting into trees to try and get different angles to shoot, but all of the surrounding brush was alight.

Loki grew weak suddenly and fell to his knees. He scrunched his face in pain and Tony hadn't noticed his stomach wound. Blood was seeping through his shirt staining down his entire front. Why he couldn't heal himself Tony didn't know, but now wasn't the time to ponder that. He rushed over to stand infront of Loki to protect him while he was down and Thor found himself giving up. They had made no damage to the monster and all seemed pointless.

"Why are you doing this?" Thor boomed to the shadow. It responded by suddenly disappearing. The fire still roared and firetrucks could be heard in the distance. Thor dropped his hammer and bent down on his knees to catch his breathe. Clint stumbled over putting a gentle hand on Thor's back clearly out of breath and out of arrows.

"Where are Steve and Bruce?" Tony asked opening his mask.

"I do not know," Thor responded. Tony turned around to the fallen Loki who clutched his stomach in pain.

"Heal yourself," Tony whispered and Loki shook his head. "That thing took my powers completely. I'm afraid…I have to endure," he spat out.

"Did you see…" Tony began and he didn't have to finish, Loki nodded his head slowly and looked up at his friend.

"We must find the others so they do not end up like her." Loki stated trying to stand.

_End up like her._

Tony felt nauseous again and felt his muscles tighten. "Jarvis, locate Steve and Bruce,"

"Sir, I have located them due west towards the firetrucks."

"Are they…alive?"

"Yes, sir,"

Tony nodded happy about that information. "We need to get you to a hospital," Tony said bending down to put Loki's arm around his neck.

Loki grunted in pain with standing and stretching his stomach wound. Thor and Clint looked at eachother and then back over past the flames where Natasha's body was.

"We can't leave her…" Clint whispered as the four of them became quiet.

"I will retrieve her body," Thor quietly stated clearing a space of fire with the power of his hammer that gave them all a glimpse of the blood mess that lie beyond.


	30. Author's note!

HEY EVERYONE! This is just an author's note from yours truly.

I sincerely apologize for the months that I have not been able to update. I feel terrible that I haven't gotten the chance to. It's been beyond crazy at work and I'm dealing with some personal things, as well. I'm going to try and start writing again, hopefully, by the end of this month.

I have NOT forgotten about my readers/fanfics! I've been so ;asjg;asd;lfkj ugh. Let me die.

But I'm not quitting my stories!

Thank you for continuing to hold on and wait for my update. There are no words to show my appreciation! 3

I love you all! Thanks, again!


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